Skip to main content

254. Emotional showtime

You are happy, so let's laugh loud. You are angry so let's yell and scream. In the moment of sadness, just cry. That are our natural reactions on influences outside. What society expects from us, are particular reactions in appropriate time, or lack of any reaction. Show just blank face, that is expected from you.

How many time you went to funeral but you could not cry? How many times you cried on weddings? And when you wanted to hug someone in public, but it was not somehow appropriate?

Our reactions are not always in harmony with rules of society. Sometimes we are forced to pretend happiness or kindness even that is not on our mind. New boss comes to your workplace. Now he needs warm welcome, bunch of kindness, smiles and sweet words. When Phoebe became boss of department, she did not leave good impression. Her first words were: "If you were lazy until now, i despise lazy people. You will see meaning of hard work under my authority."

She expected fear or respect. Mostly her new colleagues were surprised so they stayed silent. Then Alan start to laugh loud, everybody were looking at him. He said : "Are you kidding me lady? You remind me on movie "Dictator."

He dared to show something opposite, and Phoebe was angry, it was her defeat. She was not ready for this, because reaction on her sharp speech was unpredictable.

In society are drafts how we should behave, and what is appropriate. When my teacher in high school died from heart attack, i did not cry. I really could not stand him because he was always unpleasant and rude toward me. So i went to funeral from decency, but i saved my tears. Why to pretend something i don't feel? Bunch of smarmy people cried for him because it was expected. They were almost as professional hired crying group. Who will cry more, they almost competed. I shown respect in silence, without making a big drama from this.

Some people are so dramatic in their emotional expressions. They want to show to world how they are angry or happy or sad. It is justified if emotions are real, what they feel inside. Not everybody like when someone laugh loud , but human nature is various. Hypocrisy is very ugly, if you laugh or cry by force or with purpose. Your boss said joke, and now you will laugh to please him. Even this is not funny, you will laugh, because you can get good point from his side. Maybe if you laugh on his jokes, your promotion will not wait too long.

Balance between your instincts and expectations from society is necessary solution. All right, that is ugly to laugh or joke at funeral, and also it is not nice to speak bad jokes at weddings, about bride and her former boyfriends. If you grab cakes with hands at birthday parties, you can leave impression that you never eat before. 

What we feel inside when we are alone and what we show in publicity makes a big difference. This is indeed self defense in some situation. At workplace someone complained at you, but you will squeeze teeth and poker face is your backup. Who care about idiots, you know your values. 

Human nature is not open book, we decide when to expose some pages to others. Which role you got in movie today? Prepare yourself and stay calm. Now movie is starting, you are on big monitor and audience is watching on you.

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Women are not weak as they look

Where is a fight, there is love. Since childhood opposite genders tease each other, make conflicts and argue, just to compare their mental strength. Men are strong gender by nature, but many of them underestimate woman’s will and character. Some judgments define a woman as fragile, sensitive creature, and the man who is educated in the traditional family will often underestimate a woman. He will see the weak creature in the corner with a face full of tears. Well, a woman can defend herself in thousand ways. She will seduce you to obey you. She will pretend weakness just to take revenge on you if you humiliate her. Be ready for her trick as on poker table. Especially men who are used to silent, obedient woman can’t count on such resistance. Remember, the woman is the one who is working and clean house after work, carry for kids and for your laundry and your meal. Women are multi-tasking, so how can they be weak? When you fall in love with a woman who can care for herself, she doesn’t …

Are you the hunter or the kill?

Criticism is a sensitive field. It is easy to give critics, to mock someone, but it is not easy to receive this in return and to make a joke by yourself. Do you laugh at yourself, in public? Do you allow friends to tease you, even this means that they will overrate your faults and make your values smaller? There is a thin line between social clown and person who loves to make jokes about yourself. If you are a hunter, if you respect yourself, you will allow the certain dose of criticism but you will not be a doormat. If you ask me to whom you must be grateful, maybe my answer will surprise you. Yes, i am grateful to my parents because they give me motivation, strong will, and attitude. I am grateful to my sister because she stood on my side when i felt miserable. I am grateful to my husband for accepting me as i am, even when i was the worst nightmare. Mostly, i am grateful to my rivals, to develop my strength. As i passed my initiation, faced with many troubles and get out from bigg…

Are you grateful for the things you have ?

Are you grateful for the things you have in your life? I don’t think about furniture or new plates, i think about your private and professional life. Sometimes, we forget to save gratitude in our heart because our mind is too busy by dreaming about something we still did not realize. Gradation looks like this: I don’t have boyfriend. I have boyfriend but we are not married. We are married but we don’t have kids. We have only one child. Our kid is not obedient, we have problematic teenager.
In professional plan, we can use same pattern: I am studying and i don’t have job. I have job but my salary is small. I have good salary but i have no free time. I have job but my boss is dictator. It is about human nature, where all are rivals, competitors and opponents. Why your neighbor owe expensive car, and you are going at work with bus? Why your kids can’t have designers clothes? Why your friend has bigger flat then you? We are dreaming because of our ambitions. It is not bad, i am also ambiti…