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257. Surrogate time

How to be happy in love? Single person will ask this question during period of loneliness. If there is special key, everyone would like to find it and open secret door of love magic. People can be rich, beautiful and genius, but without happiness in love all this will be in vain. We wish to share our happiness with someone and there is no more beautiful thing than smile of beloved person.

Searching for love is an excitement, and everyone who did success will be happy. Also, some people will lost patience and they will decide to be single. They will say "we are happy anyway", without someone special in their life.

When you miss something and you can't have it, you will search for surrogate. That are defense mechanisms which protect us from pains. As when you have headache, you will take aspirin. 

What kind of surrogates are present in human lives, as substitutions for love?

Hard work. When you see workaholic lady or gentleman, something is behind this. Single woman is working overtime to forget unhappy love. Let's solve all files at my office so i will be happy. At least i can do something good. Let's do some physical work. I will work in tunnel just to forget that bitch woman. 

Friend with benefit. This is person who will give you sex, so called fuck buddy. You don't have love because all your relations ended bad. So you have cute friend and let's share joy between sheets. Who knows, maybe this activities can grow into love?

Comfort. When you can't give love you can still enjoy in your ego massage. That guy, he loves you so much, but he is not your type, but why not to play with him? Date with your fan and enjoy in this special feeling, that someone would die for you. You can have your own slave.

Kids. Some single mothers can be disappointed with men. They will give love to their children. That is beautiful, to care for your child, but don't close door to other men. If father of child was jerk, other men are not the same.

Virtual love. Your reality sucks, but recently you met soulmate at internet, so this pen friendship grows into something. Finally, his emails will bright up your day. 

Religion. You can turn your feelings to God. Croatian actress Edita Majić suddenly brought decision to became nun. She went into Spanish monastery and learnt Spanish language. She sacrificed her private life to be in the service of God.

Poetry. Feel your love pain through poetry. Breath through your words. Croatian poet Vesna Parun had no luck with men, but she focused at her poems. One poem was even for her rival in love. Her poem "She has more innocent hands" is in fact giving up from her beloved man, and let him go to other woman. 

Surrogates are similar taste as real thing, but they can't replace what you really need for a long time. 

They can protect you or save your pride. Your ego will breath easier with surrogates. So, you are alone, you have no luck with opposite gender, but you fill yourself in some other area.

It is better to work hard or educate your child than to drown in depression. Unhappy love can be self destructive. People drink , take drugs or make suicides because of love tragedies. Empty and broken heart is dangerous enemy from inside. Heart needs doses of love, from which source you will get it, that is your choice.

The important thing is, don't give up from love. Your chances are bigger if you show to others that you love yourself. If you don't love yourself, if you can't save yourself, it is very hard possibility that others will save you. We are masters of own destiny. Final word and final act are in our hands.

Enjoy in surrogate time until you find something what you miss. Use this experience to grow and progress. Then, final, better version of you will be magnet for others. Your illumination will be noticed on right place in the right time.

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