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330. Fly with your partner

Relation is connection of heart and mind. We are together because something bonds us. In every relation is the same question: "How much space is allowed for yourself? " This is matter of personal freedom, and balance between your wishes and wishes from your partner.

Many conflicts will lead into this question. If you did something wrong, your apology will be "I have right on my freedom. " Your partner will reply: "But your freedom hurt me, you put knife in my heart."

Imagine situation that you don't know how to dance on wedding party, or you simply hate dancing. You will not make problems if your partner likes to dance and he will dance with other women. You can sit and watch him and you will not feel good. In solidarity toward you, he can sit with you or try to teach you this steps. If guy is not well mannered, he will not pay attention what you think, he will have fun with other women. Dance is not harmless, because in some moment you may think that your man crossed his line. He can kiss woman in cheek, hug her too tight or laugh with her , and from distance it can look as flirt. The best solution is that you also accept the game, so dance with other men even you stand on their feet. He will ask himself what he did wrong.

Freedom in relation is defined by deal between partners. You create your own story so don't pay attention what others think about you and your man. For example, Tilda and her boyfriend sometimes go out separated, with friends. Her friend Bertha said : "How can you let him to drink with his friends? I saw him totally drunk." Tilda said that it is not her business at all. 

Too much freedom is not good because partner will lose respect. You will be his safe shelter and harbor where he will go after his wild nights, when he get tired. You will be alone and in your relation will be much emptiness.

Also, it is not good to put your partner in chains, to follow him everywhere as his shadow. Simply, he will runaway because possession is not love.

There is one gold rule : allow others as much you allow to yourself. 

If you have your hobbies, your partner also have right to his space and his free time. Relation is kind of investment, and if you appreciate your freedom more than relation, that investment is failure. 

Lina and Steven are in long lasting relation. They have job, hobbies , family and friends. Also, they have deal for romantic moments. Every Friday night they shut down their computers, cell phones and they watch movies together. This is their space where nobody else is not invited.

When you have wings, you will be curious where to fly. If you learn to fly with partner, you will feel more safe. He is your safe belt. Flying in unknown direction would not be so interesting if you know in which area you feel happy.
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