Skip to main content

You have a right to be silent




When you have choice, you can pick what you wish because your hands are free and you are not influenced by others. You choose accord your principles and beliefs. That is very easy, because you know what is the best for you. What happens when you need to accept other choices, even you don't like them? This question is measure of your tolerance. 

Every time when we meet new person, we are introduced with her personality. That person comes with package. That means, you will not accept in your life only beautiful girl with sweet smile. You will accept her beliefs together with her. You may not like her parents, relatives or friends. Also, you will be terrified with her political beliefs. You could be an atheist, and she is religious. You have different musical taste and enjoy in pop music, and she wants to go in opera to listen Chopin or Verdi. Differences will cause conflicts, and reactions will be various.


How to represent your choices in public?

Don't push your beliefs forward others, don't try to persuade them that you are right.

Never humiliate or underestimate your friend or partner, because they think different.

Don't create conspiracy against others because they don't support your beliefs.

Don't use insults and don't play dirty. Low kicks are just proof how far you can go in manifestation of your ego.


These days actual situation in internet is discussion about football. Mexico win in football match against Croatia and also i have some Mexican friends. I understand their happiness and i accept them as long they are nice with me. Everybody has right to celebrate their country and their culture and there is no doubt in this. Mature people will not follow negative emotions to show others that they are right.
Stand on ball and think about how your reactions talk about you, more than about subject you wish to talk. 

When kids are fighting, they will cry, yell or insult each other without limits, because they are kids. First level of maturity begins with acceptance of other choices. It doesn't mean that you must follow majority and join to the crowd, as sheep in herd. That means diplomatic skills.

What happens when you fight against wall and you wish to promote your beliefs as general rules?

You will lose affection of your friends.

You may got nickname as dictator.

People will consider you as closed minded person, primitive or egomaniac.

Sarah was leader of international department in one firm. She could not stand that her employees are getting late, so she was punishing them for every minute when they did not come at time. She did not accept any apology from them, even if some women had children and they had obligation to go in kindergarten before work. Soon they made jokes from this and ordered Swiss watch for her birthday. Sarah was furious and next step was threat in email. She said that her employees must answer on every phone call otherwise they will get smaller salary. People asked her what will happen with that missed calls during their pause for smoking and toilet. Sarah lost her power for few months because she could not handle pressure. She could not accept that other people also have right on their opinion and their choices, even they were under her position at work.

If ego stands on your way, you may lose some interesting friendships, opportunities for love and chances for good job. Your best friend is liberal? Your nephew is gay? Can you accept this with tolerance?

If you can't accept it now, you may meet with this in future. You are conservative, but your son and daughter could be liberal. Imagine Cher, her daughter changed gender. It was not easy, but as mother she accepted her decision. 

Your choices could change with time. Maybe you were rebellious in youth, and now you follow different rules. That will help you to accept other preferences, because you know advantages and failures of both sides. One thing is sure, if you accept person only because she thinks the same as you, in first conflict your friendship will break on pieces. 
Our choices define us and our relations with others. If you think that only you have right all the time, discussion has no sense.

At the end, your choice is your echo. What you choose it will come to you as reflection in the mirror. Don't act as policeman with warrant :"You have right to be silent, and if you say something, we can use it against you."



Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Women are not weak as they look

Where is a fight, there is love. Since childhood opposite genders tease each other, make conflicts and argue, just to compare their mental strength. Men are strong gender by nature, but many of them underestimate woman’s will and character. Some judgments define a woman as fragile, sensitive creature, and the man who is educated in the traditional family will often underestimate a woman. He will see the weak creature in the corner with a face full of tears. Well, a woman can defend herself in thousand ways. She will seduce you to obey you. She will pretend weakness just to take revenge on you if you humiliate her. Be ready for her trick as on poker table. Especially men who are used to silent, obedient woman can’t count on such resistance. Remember, the woman is the one who is working and clean house after work, carry for kids and for your laundry and your meal. Women are multi-tasking, so how can they be weak? When you fall in love with a woman who can care for herself, she doesn’t …

Are you the hunter or the kill?

Criticism is a sensitive field. It is easy to give critics, to mock someone, but it is not easy to receive this in return and to make a joke by yourself. Do you laugh at yourself, in public? Do you allow friends to tease you, even this means that they will overrate your faults and make your values smaller? There is a thin line between social clown and person who loves to make jokes about yourself. If you are a hunter, if you respect yourself, you will allow the certain dose of criticism but you will not be a doormat. If you ask me to whom you must be grateful, maybe my answer will surprise you. Yes, i am grateful to my parents because they give me motivation, strong will, and attitude. I am grateful to my sister because she stood on my side when i felt miserable. I am grateful to my husband for accepting me as i am, even when i was the worst nightmare. Mostly, i am grateful to my rivals, to develop my strength. As i passed my initiation, faced with many troubles and get out from bigg…

Are you grateful for the things you have ?

Are you grateful for the things you have in your life? I don’t think about furniture or new plates, i think about your private and professional life. Sometimes, we forget to save gratitude in our heart because our mind is too busy by dreaming about something we still did not realize. Gradation looks like this: I don’t have boyfriend. I have boyfriend but we are not married. We are married but we don’t have kids. We have only one child. Our kid is not obedient, we have problematic teenager.
In professional plan, we can use same pattern: I am studying and i don’t have job. I have job but my salary is small. I have good salary but i have no free time. I have job but my boss is dictator. It is about human nature, where all are rivals, competitors and opponents. Why your neighbor owe expensive car, and you are going at work with bus? Why your kids can’t have designers clothes? Why your friend has bigger flat then you? We are dreaming because of our ambitions. It is not bad, i am also ambiti…