346. Friendship under surface
Elimination is part of selection, so when you pick friends , you will also reject some candidates, because they are not accord your standards. Sounds cruel, but it doesn't mean you are antisocial. We are not obligated to give hand to everybody, to support anyone and to hug every person in this world. If you are picky, you will say gently NO, and every wise person will accept this choice.
Marianne had few good friends and she shared all her secrets and problems with them. That were people from her childhood and she trusted them, because she knew them for a many years. She was cautious girl, and kind of person who will not let anyone in her life. When her roommate from office, Emily, wanted to get close with her, Marianne was formal and she rejected her invitation to birthday party. Marianne said : "We work together, we disagreed at some projects, and i don't think it would be wise that we involve as friends." Emily was furious and called her cocky bitch, so she did not want to talk with her for a month.
When you pick your mates, buddies, palls, you made a choice. You will open door for some people, and that door will be closed and locked for other people.
Here are some misleads about picky people.
They are cocky, pretentious or rude.
Just because someone don't want your company, it doesn't mean that person is cocky. You are just not accord his standards.
They are antisocial.
Picky people are not lonely . They prefer company of people they chose.
They like to hurt others.
If someone rejects you, this is not in bad intention. If you feel that your heart is broken because someone doesn't accept you, learn to respect other choices.
They are egoists.
Picky people are not selfish. They are honest and open. It is better that you know when someone doesn't want you at first sight. At least you are not victim of hypocrisy in this case.
Good example about selection is visible in virtual world. I believe that many of you get many friend request from Facebook, google plus and other social networks, but you will not accept all. Facebook has limitation about 5000 friends.
So, what happens when you reject friend invitation at internet?
Person sent message in another inbox, with complaint that you are bad. Now you need block option.
Person gossips you in front of other people that you are antisocial.
Person create new profile and try to add you again.
Nobody is obligated to accept everyone and to hang with everybody , because friendship is spontaneous act. We don't choose people who will work with us, but we have right to choose friends in real life and virtual space.
Here is also another part of story. Some people will accept everyone because they want to avoid judgement and they want to promote themselves as friends of everybody. "Look at Sam, he is an angel,everybody likes him." This is deception, because if someone considers you as friend , it doesn't mean that you will get devotion, loyalty and respect.
Sally and Monica were class mates and they learnt together for exams, but when Monica organised weekend party at her house, she did not invite Sally. Her explanation was : "Sally is nerd and she would be party breaker. She is dull girl with glasses."
So, what is more fair, rejection or fake friendship? Rejection will make short pains, but hypocrisy will cause deeper scarves. You believed that she likes you, but at the end it was just pretending, she had mask of best friend? This was not surprise, because if you wanted to badly that someone likes you, you did not have much choice to this person. Your persistent attempts caused this. Fair person would say no, and person who wears mask will choose to wear mask.
Indeed, hypocrisy is rejection from background, just not everyone is able to see this. Scratch under this surface and you will see real image.