If you could live in bubbles, one touch would be enough to broke this circle. The same is with problems, most of us want that they vanish, just like that, if we move little finger. Facing with troubles is hard part, especially if we use denials, and pretend that our problems don't exist at all.
Imagine that you have financial debts, but you still want to buy expensive purse , even you can't afford this. You think that shopping will make you happy and it is true, for a moment you will be happy and after that your debts will be bigger. Sometimes, people are unhappy because of single status so they will create many internet profiles in hope to catch their soulmates. Indeed, they could collect bunch of fans, but emptiness inside will stay as thorn and heart will bleed anyway.
Where is magic formula , general rule for all problems? How to get out from dark circle?
1. detect your problem, admit yourself participation of trouble
2. be sharp to yourself , even truth is harmful
3. face it with this, even result can be defeat
4. repeat this personal struggle again, if it did not work first time
5. give up from old solutions and make new ideas
If you want to get in the place where you never been , you need to do things which you did not do before. Old patterns are faded solutions, and if you know this will not work out, save your time.
Hilary was classic type of loser, and especially in private life. Guys did not get her serious, and she was crushed three years in Robin. He did not love her, but he used opportunity for casual sex because she was attractive and it was good food for his ego. That story was the same end, he was flirting with other girls, and after that , when he was in good mood, he would call Hilary again, because she was weak on him. She knew that he is making fool of her, but this relation was created as fairy tale in her head. Her mislead about Robin was next: "He is always coming back to me so for sure he loves me." Indeed, girls were laughing to Hilary under her back, because Robin never invited her on classical date.
One day, after many tears, Hilary decided to finish with this. She was not angry and sad, she was simply cold toward him. It was something new for Robin, because he used to hysteria and nervous mood from this girl. This was dead silence, she simply did not answer on his calls. At the end they met on the street and she said that she found new boyfriend. There was no explanations, no long stories, just simply few words and smile. She walked away and left him with opened mouth.
If we have wrong perception about problems, if we expect that some high forces will solve this, we are wrong.
Three elements will make wrong view about our problem:
So, you will deny that you have no problems with alcohol even you drink every weekend , also you live in mislead that it will not harm you. As result, here is guilt, because you blame unlucky destiny so alcohol will help you to feel better.
Avoiding problems looks easy, but even you turn back to them, sooner or later they will be forward you. You need to find root of this problem and destroy their center. Fish stinks from head, so cut this head before you make new plans.