Skip to main content

387. Vacuum romances




Hank is one of guys who stuck in long relation. He feels unhappy because this relation doesn't fill his needs, but he has no strength to get out from this. When his best friend Linda asked him why he can't be alone, he replied : "I need someone to hold on." Fear from loss and loneliness are basic elements of ruined relations, because people will stay in them even they look like abandoned houses. These are type of relations which doesn't exist indeed, they are only walls for protection.

If we talk about love statuses, we can find interesting info about people who are neither single, neither taken. This is kind of vacuum between love and hate, where two partners hold on each other, even they are aware that things will not work out.

Here are some stories which i heard randomly, and it can be related to "not single - not taken" statuses.



"I have neighbor, he is handsome and busy, and i like him. He comes to me at dinner , i care about him when he is drunk and sometimes we have sex. But we are not in relation."

"Me and my ex wife live in the same house. Officially, we are divorced, but we can't deal about property. So until court solve this issue, we live together, even i did not touch her for a year."

" I am in virtual marriage. Yes, you can laugh to me. Indeed i have wife and children, they are grow up, but they all don't care about me. So i find young girl at social network, we are together every day at Skype and Whats app and i feel happy with her. So we decided to get marry on internet."

" I live with my mother but i spend every day in house of my girlfriend. We will not get marry , my mother is cooking and washing my laundry, and my girlfriend is here to make me smile. I don't want to be alone."


What real relation needs?

Obligation. Some people are irresponsible, so they don't want commitment.

Fidelity. You need to focus on one person. If that person can't fill your whole heart, you will hard decide about relation.

Division. Relation is deal. What is yours, that is mine and opposite. If you can't share anything with other person, you don't want to be in relation.

Stability. You can't change opinion every day, about your future. You must be sure about your feelings.


When you are in the middle of romance, you are someone who is half hungry. You will taste cake, but you will not eat all. You don't want to stay hungry, but you are not ready for big bite.

Vacuum romances are stories on half way. What is the purpose? You will realize what you need and what you don't need. This person is maybe your experimental rabbit, someone who will take you into the main road, but the rest you will do alone. 

You can ask yourself questions to test your real feelings. Can i live without her? If he leave, can i handle this or he will terribly miss me? 

Method of elimination will give the best answers. Maybe you don't know what you want, but if you eliminate unnecessary things you will get answer what is really important to you.





Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Women are not weak as they look

Where is a fight, there is love. Since childhood opposite genders tease each other, make conflicts and argue, just to compare their mental strength. Men are strong gender by nature, but many of them underestimate woman’s will and character. Some judgments define a woman as fragile, sensitive creature, and the man who is educated in the traditional family will often underestimate a woman. He will see the weak creature in the corner with a face full of tears. Well, a woman can defend herself in thousand ways. She will seduce you to obey you. She will pretend weakness just to take revenge on you if you humiliate her. Be ready for her trick as on poker table. Especially men who are used to silent, obedient woman can’t count on such resistance. Remember, the woman is the one who is working and clean house after work, carry for kids and for your laundry and your meal. Women are multi-tasking, so how can they be weak? When you fall in love with a woman who can care for herself, she doesn’t …

Are you the hunter or the kill?

Criticism is a sensitive field. It is easy to give critics, to mock someone, but it is not easy to receive this in return and to make a joke by yourself. Do you laugh at yourself, in public? Do you allow friends to tease you, even this means that they will overrate your faults and make your values smaller? There is a thin line between social clown and person who loves to make jokes about yourself. If you are a hunter, if you respect yourself, you will allow the certain dose of criticism but you will not be a doormat. If you ask me to whom you must be grateful, maybe my answer will surprise you. Yes, i am grateful to my parents because they give me motivation, strong will, and attitude. I am grateful to my sister because she stood on my side when i felt miserable. I am grateful to my husband for accepting me as i am, even when i was the worst nightmare. Mostly, i am grateful to my rivals, to develop my strength. As i passed my initiation, faced with many troubles and get out from bigg…

Are you grateful for the things you have ?

Are you grateful for the things you have in your life? I don’t think about furniture or new plates, i think about your private and professional life. Sometimes, we forget to save gratitude in our heart because our mind is too busy by dreaming about something we still did not realize. Gradation looks like this: I don’t have boyfriend. I have boyfriend but we are not married. We are married but we don’t have kids. We have only one child. Our kid is not obedient, we have problematic teenager.
In professional plan, we can use same pattern: I am studying and i don’t have job. I have job but my salary is small. I have good salary but i have no free time. I have job but my boss is dictator. It is about human nature, where all are rivals, competitors and opponents. Why your neighbor owe expensive car, and you are going at work with bus? Why your kids can’t have designers clothes? Why your friend has bigger flat then you? We are dreaming because of our ambitions. It is not bad, i am also ambiti…