It is not easy to be in the middle of two people, especially if they are a couple. If you got this duty to hold side for someone, this position is ungrateful. Did you have experience with your desperate friend who asked you to help her with her relation, because she can't bear this pain anymore? At this moment you enter into a race and take a risk to jump out every moment. Messengers could be killed, isn't it?
Daryl is crazy in love and her best friend Alice is a shoulder for crying. This stunning relation lasts about one year. Her beloved man Richard is the main topic of every conversation between two girls. Even Alice has good nerves, her patience is at the end. Every time Daryl talks only about him. "Richard hurt me again. I can't live like this anymore. " Then Alice replies: "Leave him, he is not worthy of you. " This conversation is spinning into circles, because Daryl wishes some advices, and when she gets it, she doesn't listen and the story is always the same. One day Daryl asked her to talk with Richard, to forward him her messages. It was a day when Richard went into a business journey in another city and by some coincidence, Alice was there on vacation. They talked in a coffee bar and Richard was fascinated with Alice. He was not interested in Daryl and her feelings, but Alice captured his attention. Later, Daryl blamed Alice that she tried to seduce her boyfriend. Alice was not guilty, she just wanted to help and she got egg in the face.
If you accept a role of messenger, everything is possible. Imagine that you are Cupid and you need to make harmony in some devastated relations. You will be in the middle of the battlefield and random shots could hurt you.
What are possibilities?
This man can blame you that you poke nose in something that is not your business.
A woman may be suspicious about your real intentions when you try to help her to make peace with her boyfriend. She could be jealous if he is too kind to you.
You could be hurt by both because it makes things even worse.
Here is also one important question, what kind of relationship is this, where the third side need to be a referee? When someone loves you, you don't need to push him, to beg him or to warn him what is right and what is wrong. This person could feel pressure. How to love someone by force, even worse, when force is coming from the third side? Men are sometimes allergic to female friends, because they take the role of teacher or judge, and they interfere in other relations as assistants. If your best friend is married, her husband may dislike you, because you always know the best for both. You know that he should not flirt with other women, that he should not get drunk or to be indecent toward his mother in law. That is the thing which men hate the most, when women told them what to do, and when that women are so close friends with their wives.
So when your best friend is desperate, when she is crying, help her, but watch your back. Be spontaneous, make some jokes from this situation and don't cross the line. You can tell to her husband or boyfriend on the nice way, without nagging, to take care of this precious woman.
Gilda was a mediator when her friend Sally was hurt by her boyfriend :
She said: " You have a choice to continue this and make her cry or to walk out with a smile. Nobody force you to stay in this relation, but if you stay, spare me from your troubles. I have no more time and nerves to listen to her requiem every day. "