412. Love or career - ungrateful choice




Envy is follower of jealousy. When you feel sting of jealousy, next side effect is envy. You have something what other's don't have and now they will stab you in the back. If you think that your beloved man is jealous only on other men in your life, you are very wrong. 

Imagine that you live with man who is without job. It can happen to everyone, but that situation could be long lasting or even permanent. So you will earn money for you, your husband and your children. It would be natural that husband feeds his family, but in some families women are bosses, because they work, and men are at home. Fatima lives in Bosnia and she works as teacher. She  lives with unemployed husband and three adult sons. They are all lazy and they sleep all day because at night they watch movies and play games at computers. Her husband Alvin had some short time jobs, usually he was painting walls and selling potato from their garden, but all this make him tired. Fatima started to earn with tarot , to solve their financial problems. She is wise woman, but Alvin has different perception about her. He became jealous. He said to her that she should not visit her parents, who live in another country. He was very determined in his decision, so Fatima accepted this and she did not come even to her mother's funeral. Slowly, she broke relation with all her friends, because her husband demanded this. Now she is in retirement and very ill, so she felt that she did huge mistake in her life.

Jealousy is not only bad act of person who loves you madly. This is product of ego and insecurity. Some men are so old fashioned that they can't stand superiority of their female partners. 



You will think, he loves you, how can he be jealous toward your success?

This is possible, and signs are next:

He doesn't want that you finish your studying at college, because he thinks your place is at home.

He doesn't want that you accept promotion at work, even you would earn more.

He can't accept the fact that bosses chose your wife for important and responsible work, that they did not chose him, even he is a man.

He talks about you as you are his rival or competition.

He starts to underestimate you. You can't drive better because you are woman. You can't work successful because you are woman.

His view is old fashioned and he thinks that women should never work on higher positions.


If your partner can't support you, who can? 

Your happiness has direct influence on your relation. Would you be happy that your husband give you money every day, in small amounts, accord his wishes? Would you be happy that your main aim in life is role of housewife, and that all you can do is cleaning, washing laundry or ironing?

Ambitions could be obstacles when your man is envious, traditional or jealous. This kind of jealousy can go so far that he will give you choice between you or your work. 

If he is already your ex, you can also expect battlefield.

Robert and Constance were in relation about two years. He was working as manual worker, in warehouse. She was writer , but she could not find publisher to sell her book. So she was working in library, and selling books. One day she met man who offered her to write columns in local newspapers, and she accepted his terms. It was no big chance for success, but Constance was happy. She became very popular and soon she found publisher. Robert was green of envy. He did not support her, he felt as small spot in her life, especially when his boss said to him that he will not get next salary on time. He was loser, and their relation broke because Constance could not handle his doubts and jealousy.

Who is better and who will win? That questions should never exist in one relation. Your husband is your supporter, not your rival neither your enemy. 
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