431. Brothers by depression
Grumpy person is not desirable friend. It is normal to be moody, but people who are constantly sad, angry or depressed are not welcome. If you pass hard time, you will wish to be in company with someone who can make you smile. Cheerful friend will lift you up, and your situation will look better.
Imagine that you wait results of important exam or job interview. You would like to have someone beside you, to lean on. The last what you need is demoralization. If your friend is there, and if you hear something like : "Competition is tough, and your chances are small", this person is not good support. Also, if you wait result of surgery, and your close family member is in the hospital, you don't need pessimistic person near you. It would be like song of owl, creepy and undesirable.
Friends will share everything, but friendship is never equal, in sense that two friends live the same life. There is always balance, as on swing. Someone will be more happy, other will pass hard time, but if you are good friend, you will give support no matter what happens.
When you are dealing with grumpy friend, stages of your friendship are next:
1. "That is life. Shit happens. You are not only one."
2. " This time you had luck, but next time will be worse."
3. "The same happened to me, we are just not privileged by destiny."
4. "It was not fair, you are not in my skin. Life is more fair to you."
5. "I don't want to talk with you more. You can't understand why i am crying, otherwise you would cry with me."
If your friend is normal person with sense for reality, it will be different.
1. "I know that is hard, but you can do it."
2. "You solved much bigger problems than this."
3. "I made this, so you can do it too. Just be calm and patient."
4. "Even if you don't get it, there is always another chance."
5. "After dark night is always dawn. "
Elaine and Tamara were best friends until both were single. They had few unhappy relations, and they were reliance to each other. When Elaine found Frank, things changed. Frank was not as her former boyfriends, and he really cared about Elaine. Tamara hated him on first sight. She did not want to feel alone, because Elaine was not sad person, as before. Tamara was black crow, and she talked like this : "For sure he is the same as others. He is just pretending . You will see, he will cheat you and he will leave you. " It did not happened, and Tamara felt as Elaine betrayed her, because they were not so close as before. Elaine explained that she wanted to be happy, and Tamara would spoil her mood every time. Tamara gone so far that she provoked Frank, when they all met together in coffee bar. She forced Elaine to chose, and Elaine chose her boyfriend.
Brother or sister by depression is worse than enemy. When someone dislike you, that person will show you this on open way. Such kind of friend will tell you, i know what is the best for you. Grumpy friend considers you as partner in sadness. Why don't you sing owl song with him or her? Such person will drag you to the bottom. For healthy friendship, you need to be able to show good mood, even you are not happy in the moment. At least, don't spoil happiness to others. Give your congrats and support, and hug your friend because she make her dream true. You will be next, and then you will need someone to share your joy.