459. Your house of cards
When you live in the cloud of expectations, you will expose yourself to disappointments. In your mind is a scale, top list of things which you expect from some people. When they don't bring you what you wished for, result is depression.
Expectation is background of hope. What is indeed hope? That is transparent spider net of dreams. One little touch of reality and it will break. So if you live from expectations, it means you forgot the other side of life, real one.
Megan met this guy Nathan in the club, he drove her home while she was drunk. He cared for her until she was vomit, and she saw savior in him. Next time her best friend was also drunk, and he drove her home. Megan did not expect that Nathan will care for her friend, she thought she had exclusively right for his care. She felt sting of jealousy when Nathan called her friend next morning to check is she alright. Soon she realized that Nathan is kind of saint who like to help people, but he is not ready for serious relation. At the first sight, he was perfect choice, but as relation developed, she was more and more disappointed.
Problem is in our visions. If they are big, it is not guarantee that results will be big too. You started to work at this job, and all were kind to you, your colleagues helped you to fit in, but later some of them turned you back. Why this happens? Seems you expected too much.
Where are basic mistakes in expectations?
All is good at the beginning. Wait for some time, you will see that is not gold all what is shining.
Things are not black and white. Just because person looks as angel, it doesn't mean she will bring magic in your life.
Too much optimism is not good. Look at the other side of things.
Don't rush because you will not see problems in your situation. When you realize, it will be too late.
Don't compare yourself to others. Just because someone got rich from investment in stock, it doesn't mean you will get the same.
When you not expect, you will see blank paper in front of you. You did not draw vision of success, because you don't know what will happen. Have you seen opportunity on your way? Grab this and this spontaneous act will be better than failed expectation.
Your house of cards is not safe shelter. Someone can take off carpet under your feet and then you are again at the beginning. If you are fighter, that is not problem for you, to go back in the same movie.
Our expectations should be in the harmony with situation. That means, more realistic. You know that boss position is not for you immediately, but you will work on this. Also, you know that guy will not propose you after one month of dating, but you will tell him what you wish from relation.
People split because of confusion , when expectations of two partners are not the same.
He wanted adventure, she wanted relation.
She wanted big house, he wanted to live in the small flat.
She wanted children, he doesn't want to be a father.
When person is young, expectations are more delusional. Teenagers will build towers in the air and lack of experience will bring them fake hopes. Did anyone asked you : "But what you expected my dear? You expected too much, don't fly without wings."
When someone is disappointed , he used to say : " I think i expected too much from you." This person wish that you feel guilty, because he gave you trust.
Expectation offers unclear picture. What you see and what you get are two different things. Hilda wanted to be successful manager but she got work in civil service and bad boss who drink her blood every day. Her job is not even close to vision from movies, where sexy business women run in fancy suits and rule with big companies. Hilda brings coffee to her old boss and imagine her death every morning.
Expectation is delusional bitch. She will offer you roses, but this roses are full of thorns. Be careful not to hurt your fingers. Hold this carefully so maybe you will feel smell of this rose one day.