Knife in the back is the most painful tool of suffering. That is double scar: we are betrayed by someone who had our trust and we are fooled by our visions. Don't blame yourself, you are not the first neither last who experienced this.
Once I meet someone who gave me love, at least it looked like this. That person kissed the ground where I was walking. Until our relation was placed for harmony, everything was perfect. The situation changed during the first conflict. Suddenly, I was not a beautiful woman of his dreams. I was smug, bitch and devil. Then I noticed a pattern: it happened every time when I had a different opinion about something. That relation turned on real war and we finished as enemies. All we could agree in the end was to break every connection between us.
People will ask: "How wonderful love can turn into incredible pain? "
If you can turn back the movie, you will look at things with different eyes. Real love can't transform into hate. It will happen only with so-called love.
Let's compare real love with "so-called " love.
Partner accepts your opinion, even he disagrees.
Partner forgives your mistakes and admits his mistakes too.
You are both progressing together.
There is no envy and jealousy on personal success between partners.
You are not his competition, you are his soulmate.
He tries to understand your bad mood and you cheer him up in every opportunity.
Partner tries to push his opinion as rule.
Partner blames you for old mistakes in the past, he is judging you.
You can't progress with him, because he drags you down.
He is jealous if you have a bigger salary or better job.
He sees you as his rival.
You are a doormat for his bad mood.
He is your big love today, and he will be your bigger enemy tomorrow. How does it happen? At first sight, you forgot to see holes in your relation. These holes become with time bigger and bigger. Lack of trust, the seed of doubts, the sting of jealousy. When all this connect into a big circle, poison is ready. If you don't heal this on time, you will get sick.
Yesterday he kissed you, you made love. Today this kiss is the kiss of death because he doesn't love you anymore. Who was indeed in your bed?
How you will find out the truth? Do you want to know did your ex-partner really loved you?
When you break up with him, some fact will tell you about your love.
What bad guy says?
He brags bad things about you.
Everyone knows details from your bedroom.
He tries to manipulate with your friends to get them on his side.
He is following you around, together with his new girlfriend.
What good guy says?
He will be silent, and if anybody asks, he will not give explanations.
All private things which you said to him will stay secret.
He will not follow you around, and if he has the new girlfriend, he will not involve her in your story.
He will stay out from your friends. They are not topic of your conflict.
Your ex-lover could be wonderful memory or bad burden from the past. At least, you learned what you don't need in your life anymore.