467. Round table - how to be good conversationalist?




If you talk much, you are talkative person. What is the matter, it is not ammount of your words. That is skill of communication and it is based on quality . Granny who sells eggs can be talkative, but it doesn't mean that her speech is an example for others.

What comes out from your mouth will labell you in every area. If you want to date with awesome person you need communication skills. If you want good job that is also desirable. Everyone will like to hangout with polite, talkative friend, so this is one of terms for good friendship.



What will make you good conversationalist?


1. Call your interlocutor by name. If you say "Peter, how are you today? " it is much more respectable than : "Hi dude, what's up?"

2. Don't use nickname when you talk with someone, unless you know this person good. Nicknames are childish, and sign of immaturity or disrespect. Imagine that your girlfriend had nickname "Barbie" and she hated that. So if you use that word to make her angry, you are idiot.

3. Don't yell or swear if you want to make good impression. People who yell are usually those with thin nerves or with lack of manners. If you swear, you are primitive.

4. Don't act like smartass. If you talk with someone who can't spell good, don't act as his spell check. Teacher approach is not desirable. Your friend is not good in grammar? You can tell him once, but if you repeat all the time when you talk with him, don't be surprised if he will avoid you.

5. Never use your education level to humiliate someone. Just because you are teacher, and your friend is tailor, it doesn't mean you are better than him.

6. Don't discriminate people by color of skin, gender or sexual orientation. 

7. Learn how to listen. Every good conversationalist knows to listen, otherwise you need a mirror, not a partner for talk.

8. Accept other opinions, if you disagree say nice why you don't agree. Don't use words as : "come on kiddo, you have no idea about life."

9. Don't push your opinion as rule. 

10. Don't use personal details about someone as tool to hurt him or her. If you know that person is for example gay, you can't use it in conversation to win debate.


Special kind of conversation is on internet. Social networks will reveal about person more than she wish. Only primitive people will constantly use caps lock to prove something. Many disclaimers will show that you are childish, and if you constantly bold something, your ego is bigger than skyscraper. If you use your mother language in conversation with foreigner, you have lack of manners. For example, person who talks with urdu language even others have no idea about meaning of this words is without basic skills of communication. Use english and you will not mistake. 

Here are examples of good and bad participants in one discussion. Laura and Elaine are both in boss positions and they use different approach.

Laura: " You are not good in your work. Simply, you have no idea , i am torching myself with you many years. You should be fired indeed. I have no nerves to teach you basic things and i doubt you would understand this."

Elaine: " I think we have problems in understanding. Let's find on half way. We should more cooperate so i will try to help you. "

Before you sit on round table, be sure that you know the basic rules of communication. Otherwise, you will give impression as cowboy who try to gather his cows. 

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