468. Hot potato - how to avoid responsibility?
It is hard to accept responsibility if our ego is against it. What makes our life miserable? Of course, other people. Or bad destiny, spell and high forces? So we are not guilty because life is not fair to us. We are not chosen as someone who was born under lucky star.
Fred is manual worker, he works in warehouse. His job is packing bags with tubing. This work caused him pain in back and spine , because he must also lade this bags in truck for export. This brings to him many frustrations, because his friends look at him with irony. Also, he can't find girlfriend even he is handsome. Usually his relations are sexual, with women who are married or divorced. Fred opened internet profile to create his own world, where he will show all women who is the boss. He is lurking women for cyber sex. Also he is asking for homemade videos. Some naive women accepted his offer and now he is blackmailing them , with threats that he will publish this on internet. Recently Fred had nervous breakdown and he visited shrink. In generally, Fred considers himself as victim of bad life circumstances. Women are guilty because they are slutty. His boss is guilty because he is a monster. His friends are jerks and he hates everybody.
When people refuse to accept responsibility for own mistakes , they will play role of victim. They will go far to accuse others for own faults, even to threat or blackmail. Their quote is : "If i can't be happy i will make you miserable too. "
Responsibility is based on next elements:
Maturity. You are enough mature to accept obligations.
Objectivity. Look at on your task from more angles. You can't say that someone sets you up, if that is part of your job or personal life. So if you are parent, you are responsible what your kid say or do.
Awareness. You must be aware of consequences. If you miss to do something, don't blame others if things go on wrong way.
Syndrome of hot potato is situation when you reject to take responsibility. Imagine one private firm, and few managers who are on the top. They are responsible for investments on the market. Suddenly, all system collapsed and they start to blame each other. "You found this partner from nowhere. " "No, you invested such amount of money. " "Why don't you inform yourself with whom you are making business?" One by one, they will play game with hot potato. At the end, the winner is person who lies the best.
Politicians are masters in avoiding responsibility. New government will blame previous for mistakes. New political groups will make their plans in a way to spit on previous solutions. That is snake who bites own tail, because it is impossible to find culprit.
It is not the shame to say "I can't this, i am sorry. " What is wrong, is to blame others for own faults, and to set up traps as witch hunters. Mostly, you blame someone who is innocent. Fred found who is responsible for his failed life. Slutty women, fake friends and monster boss hanged them and he had no chance. That is bullshit, because Fred was too lazy to change job or to search for a girlfriend. Others shared his hot potato on slices.