482. Distrust - voluntary prison
Between trust and foolishness is thin line. If you believe to everyone, you are ideal target for manipulation and cheaters. If you look at world with four eyes and walk on the street as gun is behind your back, you are paranoid. What we need is balance, how to draw boundaries between fair and unfair people.
If you are distrustful, one of side effect is loneliness. Everyone is your enemy , even person who gave you hand maybe hold poison in other hand.
The main question is, what made you so disappointed?
Parents who did not care for you enough.
Unhappy childhood, where other kids laughing to you, and you were street clown.
Bad relations with wrong choices of partners.
Lack of trust has own development. If you lost trust, you are under bad influence of wrong people, or you are pessimist by nature. One of areas were we lose trust is workplace. People at work are beasts, and workplace is a jungle.
Helen works in office as civil servant, for a five years. She is silent woman, but not stupid. She talks when this is necessary and her life is secret shelter. Someone would think that she could not be target for enemies. An opposite, her boss Carl doesn't like her. He thinks that Helen is perfidious person. When Helen started to work, Carl did everything that Helen feels pleasant. She wrong understood his actions, as kind of flirt. Indeed, Carl is married man and he did not have bad intentions. Helen lost trust on previous workplace, where she was victim of mobbing. So Carl paid for other's mistakes.
Do you allow yourself to lose trust in world?
You are paranoid person in next cases:
If you look at new people as potential enemies.
If someone invites you to drink coffee, and you are asking for a hidden intentions.
If you walk on the street, and you think that every wrong blink of eye and smile is focused at you, to tease you.
If you reject offer for a date, because you are sure that man or woman will use you as toy.
I knew guy who had the same excuse for every woman he rejected. He said : "For sure she wants my money. " So poor women did not have a chance because they were all considered as money hunters.
Paranoid person is very unpleasant company. Even if you don't talk you are suspicious. If you talk too much, you are annoying. And if you talk with others while she is near, for sure she thinks that you gossip her.
In worst cases, such person can isolate herself from others and nobody can't approach her. It is easy intro in suicide. Caution is healthy habit because this is selection of person you can trust. Distrust is denial of confidence. This is situation where you shut every door and burn every bridge, because once in past someone hurt you.
Once when darkness swallows you, it is hard to get back. Books and movies are your best friends, and music is only connection with real world. This world you created looks beautiful, but still you are only habitat there. Only you have keys to get out from this voluntary prison.