487. Partner on the leash

When you force someone to love you, first what you need is good leash. Then you must be sure that you hold this person tight, with something what is important to that person. No matter is that money, protection or safety, this leash is weapon in your relation. Nobody can't love you back by force, but people try this pattern anyway. How many marriages still exist without love and how many people are trapped in relations based on other reasons, not blessed by love?

Warren is young guy without permanent job. He is in the moment employed as computer engineer in one small company. His girlfriend is Romina, and her father is owner of that company. Romina is not beautiful woman, she is divorced, older 10 years from Warren and with one kid from previous marriage. Warren likes Romina because she is kind of kinky, funny, soul of every party, but he doesn't love her. An opposite, she is crazy for him. She did everything for him, offered him flat to live together, job and circle of important friends, all for his love. Recently, she is suspicious, because some young girls are employed in the same workplace and Warren is cooperating with them. She attacked one of this girls on very harsh way, even girl was not guilty, she was only talking with Warren about project. Romina is in that relation with fear, because she doesn't want to lose Warren, but she is also not ready to let him go. Warren is not crazy about her but he needs job and harmony. He is not in love in someone else, but many pretty faces captured his eyes. He is not sure that he will stay faithful.

Famous sentence by some people talks about one person in love. "I love you, and if even if you don't love me, i love for both." No, one person can't love for both sides, because love takes two, and you can't participate in both roles there. 

If your partner is passive side, you will pass through this:

Ignorance when something is bothering you. You can do it alone.

Lack of understanding when you need support. You are strong enough to handle this.

Anger if you try to force partner to hold your side. What do you expect, i did not ask for you. You asked for me.

Jealousy on other girls. They are all possible competition, because his attention is not focused on you.

If you try to advice person who obviously love wrong partner, she will tell you that you should not bother her. Indeed, let her to see side effect of this kind of love. This is situation when you eat, but still you are hungry, because this love is diet meal, with pieces and crumbs.

Such kind of partner is always with one foot at the door.

When will this relation  shut down?

When you don't have nothing to offer anymore. Money, safety, company, power, anything else which bonded this person with you.

When this person find someone who complete him.

Conscience is also important element. If partner is not in relation for the right reason, he will leave when his conscience woke up. 

It would be nice when relation would be based on pure love. 

This is not always like that. Fear that person will stay alone will also play important role. So better to have sparrow in your hand, than pidgin on the tree. If you loved someone and he left you, maybe you will get into influence of person who will ask your love, and you will love him by force even you are not aware of this. This is situation where you will maybe enjoy to be with someone who adores you, because your ego likes that. In the same time, you can't love back because someone made your heart empty.

If you feel that you are person on the leash, or if you have someone who is your dog, remember that such relation always have deadline. Something happens, someone can't stand anymore or rebellion inside will cause revolution. Cracks will be bigger and bigger, until the final explosion.