504. Apology - arrow in the middle
Did you ever had feeling that you apologize to someone even mistake was not yours? When we love , we are ready to say i am sorry even other side hurt us. Why should we do this, to take a blame for something what is other's fault?
You can't open heart by force, but you can do it with sweet words. Apology is cure for ego, and when you offer your hand, other side will feel an obligation. How to hurt someone who is ready to admit defeat and surrender in this fight?
Even it looks stupid, as sacrify of pride, meaning of apology is different.
You can manipulate with word i am sorry, even you really don't mean this.
You can use an apology as invitation for duty. Next time you will ask person to make an apology to you.
You can show that you are person with tolerance and manners.
An apology is kind of cold weapon. When you hit this spot of condolence, person will be less careful. Then you can fight back.
Here is one example story.
Monica and Owen are in marriage for many years. Monica is sometimes bossy and grumpy, and Owen has big ego so they have periods of conflicts. Owen can't handle that he is not always the one who is in right. Recently, he became close with Roberta, new colleage in his office. Monica noticed this change and decided to change her attitude, just to keep her husband. Monica is very nice with Roberta, she even invited her at lunch. Roberta felt uncomfortable, but she can't get rid of Monica, she invited her in shopping also and bought her bracelet. When Owen started to yell one night, Monica just said "i am sorry my darling." She said that she wanted to make Owen happy, by making friendship with Roberta. For some time, Roberta lost her nerves and she became cold with Owen. Monica is smiling because she kept husband with sweet words.
Some people are very stubborn and they will stand by their attitude, even it means to lose battle. Apology is kind of negotiation. You have your points when you say excuse me or i am sorry, because mostly people have sense of responsibility. Try it at work, if you have horrible boss. Try it in ordinary situation, as when you want to buy ticket in cinema, and line is very long. If you say to someone "Please, could you give me favor, i am hurry to buy ticket, can i take your place", it is very different than in case if you say "Listen moron, let me to buy my ticket otherwise i will break your teeth. "
It will not work out always, but it will work better than force or fight. Especially in love , feelings are involved. You don't want to hurt your partner. You are ready to forgive this woman even she did something bad. Just smile, blink with your eyes and talk sweet. Wait and hit your target with this arrow, right in the middle.