513. It is not my business?




Your decisions are results of choices. If anyone asked you, is it right to stand on your way, you would say no. Nobody has right to make influence on your choices, or to involve in something personaly. Is that really true?

Imagine that your family member or friend has big issues in relation. For example, your sister has husband who beats her, and she doesn't want to leave him. Will you talk with her or him? Or, maybe your friend run for man who make idiot from her? Your heart is breaking, because you can't help them. Your conscience cannot be quiet until you do something, no matter about result.

When i was teenager, my mother give me advice about guy who called me in the middle of the night. I was angry on her, i said that she can't separate me from man i like. It was indeed manipulative bastard. He would call me and talk about possible suicide if i will not meet with him. After our adventure, i realize that my mother has right. I saw man who was fragile, who needed me to save him. My mother saw an opportunist, who was ready to fall very low, just to drag me into his bed. Many years later, i admitted that she had right. 



What gives us right to involve in other choices, to judge them or to push person in right direction?

Experience. 

You passed through pain with some guy and your friend involved with him. You can't be silent about this, so it is your duty to tell her true.


Feeling of loyality.

When you care for person, you wish the best for her. If you see that person is on wrong path, you will warn her.


Conscience.

You are aware that person can push you out from her life. But you will not sleep well, until you say what you think about this.


Protection.

When we love someone, he is our ward. We wish to protect this person, to make safe wall from hurting. That is why, we wish to fight with wrong choices.



Alen Halilović is young football star, he plays for junior team of Barcelona. His parents invested much money in him, his father was also footballer and Alen is playing for croatian national team. For sure, he is young hope of football, even he is only 18 year old. Recently he involved with pop singer Lana Jurčević  and spent big money on her. She is 30 year old and young men are her favourite fun. Alen had statement, that he will not play football anymore, just to find more time for her. Even many would say " do everything for love", in this case voice of sanity is much louder. How this story will end, it is not familiar, but to sacrifice good future for the sake of adventure is not smart choice. Also, young people live day by day, and for few years Alen will think different. 


For sure, we are not dolls on the rope, and others can't define our paths. There is difference between good advice and order. We must learn to decide by independent mind, but for that we will need maturity and experience. How we learnt to swim? Someone push us into the water, and we did not get out from there until we learnt. But, we had role models, from which we learnt. This role models are our parents, teachers, friends, relatives. 

If you claim that you never involved into other choices, that is not true. If you saw guy who flirt with your daughter and later fool her with another girls, you will say what you think. If your friend spent a lot of money on gambling or bad investment into stocks, you will also say your opinion.

There is a catch, when you involve in other choices, be wise.


Say what you think on calm way. 

Don't say : "I order you to leave him. " Or "I forbidde you to do this."

Say : "I think it is not smart idea to stay with him. Think about your future. "


Make a joke, or remaind person on your bad choices.

"I was such a fool in this time. Guy left me because of my best friend, and his behaviour was similar as your boyfriend. I smell something is wrong. "


Remaind person on your role in her life.

"I am your sister, friend, mother..i wish you well in your life. "


Accept the fact that your advice will be rejected maybe.

"Do what you wish, i just told you what i think."


Choices are holy ground. If you spit on that ground, you could be kicked out. If you ask ticket to change seed on that ground, other side might listen you. In the case that your friend accepts your advice, don't be cocky. Don't say : "I told you. " Say that you will always be on her side, because loyality is much better than preaching. Say thanks because you got permission to involve. After all, next time you might have bad choice. Then you will need intervention. 

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