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It is not my business?




Your decisions are results of choices. If anyone asked you, is it right to stand in your way, you would say no. Nobody has right to make an influence on your choices or to involve in something personally. Is that really true?

Imagine that your family member or friend has big issues in relationships. For example, your sister has a husband who beats her, and she doesn't want to leave him. Will you talk with her or him? Or, maybe your friend run for a man who makes idiot from her? Your heart is breaking because you can't help them. Your conscience cannot be quiet until you do something, no matter the result.

When I was a teenager, my mother gives me advice about a guy who called me in the middle of the night. I was angry on her, I said that she can't separate me from a man I like. It was an indeed manipulative bastard. He would call me and talk about possible suicide if I will not meet with him. After our adventure, I realize that my mother was right. I saw a man who was fragile, who needed me to save him. My mother saw an opportunist, who was ready to fall very low, just to drag me into his bed. Many years later, I admitted that she had right. 



What gives us right to involve in other choices, to judge them or to push a person in the right direction?

Experience. 

You passed through pain with some guy and your friend involved with him. You can't be silent about this, so it is your duty to tell her truly.


Feeling of loyalty.

When you care for the person, you wish the best for her. If you see that person is on the wrong path, you will warn her.


Conscience.

You are aware that person can push you out from her life. But you will not sleep well until you say what you think about this.


Protection.

When we love someone, he is our ward. We wish to protect this person, to make a safe wall from hurting. That is why we wish to fight with wrong choices.



Alen Halilović is a young football star, he plays for a junior team of Barcelona. His parents invested much money in him, his father was also a footballer and Alen is playing for Croatian national team. For sure, he is young hope of football, even he is only 18 years old. Recently he involved with pop singer Lana Jurčević and spent big money on her. She is 30 year old and young men are her favorite fun. Alen had the statement, that he will not play football anymore, just to find more time for her. Even many would say " do everything for love", in this case, the voice of sanity is much louder. How this story will end, it is not familiar, but to sacrifice good future for the sake of adventure is not a smart choice. Also, young people live day by day, and for few years Alen will think different. 


For sure, we are not dolls on the rope, and others can't define our paths. There is the difference between good advice and order. We must learn to decide by the independent mind, but for that, we will need maturity and experience. How we learned to swim? Someone push us into the water, and we did not get out from there until we learned. But, we had role models, from which we learned. This role models are our parents, teachers, friends, relatives. 

If you claim that you never involved in other choices, that is not true. If you saw a guy who flirts with your daughter and later fools her with another girl, you will say what you think. If your friend spent a lot of money on gambling or bad investment into stocks, you will also say your opinion.

There is a catch, when you involve in other choices, be wise.


Say what you think on the calm way. 

Don't say: "I order you to leave him. " Or "I forbid you to do this."

Say: "I think it is not a smart idea to stay with him. Think about your future. "


Make a joke, or remained person on your bad choices.

"I was such a fool in this time. Guy left me because of my best friend, and his behavior was similar to your boyfriend. I smell something is wrong. "


Remind person about your role in her life.

"I am your sister, friend, mother.. I wish you well in your life. "


Accept the fact that your advice will be rejected maybe.

"Do what you wish, I just told you what I think."


Choices are holy ground. If you spit on that ground, you could be kicked out. If you ask ticket to change seed on that ground, another side might listen to you. In the case that your friend accepts your advice, don't be cocky. Don't say: "I told you. " Say that you will always be on her side because loyalty is much better than preaching. Say thanks because you got permission to involve. After all, next time you might have the bad choice. Then you will need intervention. 

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