523. Message from one night stand
Did you ever fall in the arms of stranger and spent hot night with him? In this moment you did not make questions, decisions or any moral dilemma. You surrender yourself to him, without thinking what will be tomorrow. Later, if he did not call you , your best friend was with you to collect your pieces.
When friend ask you for advice to have sex with unknown guy, you will say her :"Don't do it immediately. Wait. " When she do it anyway , and ask you for advice again, you say : "I told you not to do it, forget him now. "
It is not over if your strategy is right, and you need to press some other buttons to catch this guy again.
First button is self control.
Try to think normal and don't expect his call. If he is interested, he will call you. Also, don't call him. You did one step too much, now is time to back off.
Second button is formal button.
If he calls you, be polite, but formal. Don't say "i love you" or "i adore you". What you did, was just sex. If he wish more, he must try harder.
Third button is kindness.
Be happy, smile and talk nice. Don't accuse him if he did not call you right now. Don't ask him what he is up too. If you see him on street, give him hint but don't run for him.
Fourth button is busy button.
It means, show him you can be alone. Don't appear with other guys if he did not call you. Don't act like flirt woman. You wish to be with yourself. You are busy with work, cat, mother, sister. Just not available for him immediately.
Sex is chemistry and after partners exchange fluids, it is not easy to think normal and act like nothing happened. For your own sake and balance, you will not act like lunatic who cry, scream or yell if something went wrong.
Here is example of story where everything went wrong, but not because of one night stand. It happened because girl made decisions with heart, not with mind.
Lisa met this guy Victor in amusement park. She was with friends, drunk and abandoned by ex boyfriend. He was journalist and he made photos for local newspaper. Her friends introduced her to him. They drink few beers and Lisa went to his bed. After this he did not call her. She was waiting for a week, and when he met him he said he lost her number. After one more week, she met him again in night club, they went into car and had another sex. Mistake number two, she let him to repeat the same. Third time she was totally without control, and they did it again in his office. He had keys, it was night and they did it again. After this, Lisa saw him with his girlfriend. She was desperate and she involved with his brother. They did sex too. His brother was also not material for relation, so he did not call her either. When Victor heard about her affair, he was angry. He asked her to talk. He said to her : "Lisa, why you involved with my brother? Would you have relation with yourself, after what you did? " They never talked again. Lisa learnt lesson on painful way.
Guys have nose for easy women. It doesn't matter did you sleep with him first or second night, or after few months, if you are rational. If you show that you have dignity later, he will respect you. You will not be marked as slut if you don't use same pattern always.
If you are able to accept the fact that guy maybe will not ask for you later, you don't have nothing to lose. You had pleasure and now you can learn something. If he calls you, even better. It means he is interested, but that is his choice and you don't have influence on this.
When you see friend in tears after one night stand, don't judge her. Say her to wait and act with mind. In this way, you send message that you are cool person. You can sleep with him and you will not cry after, but also you will not do it with everyone. You wanted to do it with him. If he doesn't understand you, he is not for you. You can send him back to his boring girlfriend or to his friends. You don't have time for him, it was one night stand.