572. Lesson from respect
Look your partner into eyes and say " i love you". Now, next step. What you talk about him behind his back, can you repeat this statement about love? Some moments in relation are hard. When he makes you cry , when he yells at you and you are angry, can you swallow this without complaints to third persons? I know that feeling when you want to share your daily problems with someone who is worthy of your trust. Maybe you talk about your husband even to neighbors, but is it necessary? Or, how much damage it cost you, if you share your problems on your social networks ?
Some of us will say "So what, i have no secrets toward my friends. " Woman calls her mother to tell her how her husband doesn't want to clean desk after lunch, and that is normal. This is kind of situation when your relation is in the mirror, and everyone see what is happening in your house. Did you ever think that someone can use this against you?
I was always wondering how some of my friends find such perfect partners. That was in time when i was naive, and i believed that my female friends are so happy and that their partners are without mistakes. So i freely talked about my ex boyfriends, real truth, without intention to fix my story. Then i found truth from others, neutral people. For example, my friend Y always talked about her husband as someone who is kind, gentle and perfect man, but i saw him how he make orders to her, that she could not drink coffee with friends, without his control. My friend Z talked about his busy husband who earns money all the time, but i saw him in flirts with other women. What was in common to this women? They hide things and make own truth of their stories. Or, they lie even to themselves? Maybe they like this version more than real. In generally, they would pity me as "poor thing, how you manage with that bad guys. "
Our partner deserves respect, no matter who is he and what he did.
This is learnt from my friends, about respecting partner:
Never talk about your husband's love skills in bed. This is your bedroom and your life.
Never talk about his salary.
Don't talk about his previous life and his experience in sex.
Don't talk bad about his friends and family.
If you don't want to lie, say that you don't want to talk about this. Or you have no comment.
I understand human's need to share problems with friend circle. Well, if your friend complaint to you about her partner, then she deserves trustful information as return. This is exceptional rule , for someone who really knows to keep things inside and who is not radio station. Otherwise, every social network will know that your husband did not wash teeth yesterday or that he got smaller salary. People love to compete. Also, women like to smile on other troubles. They will say : "Better she, than me. She deserves such jerk. "
Happy family is dream of everyone. But some people can't wait signs of trouble. They wish to see troubles in happy family, because it makes their lives easier. One more thing, your private problems are between you and your partner. If he found out from others that you gossiped him, he will not trust you more. My colleague at work talked so bad about her boyfriend. She said that he is not on her level. If that is true, why she lives with him? And is that our business or she just wanted advice?
Next time when your partner piss you off, don't run to the first neighbor. Breath and think. Tell him to go to hell. Say that he is idiot, but in front of him. At least, you will not give credit to others and they will not have materials for morning or evening gossips.