Skip to main content

Are you a good listener?





We are surrounded by cell phones, computers, i-phones and other gadgets, which distract our attention. If you ask for a friend who will listen to you, that is a hard task. As much gadgets became great tools to avoid someone, on another hand we are their prisoners. Imagine when you traveled by bus or train before 20 years, and a bunch of creepers annoyed you. How to escape? You would buy the biggest newspaper to hide your face, just not to listen old lady in front of you who were talking about their grandchildren. Today, you will look at a creature from Star Wars. Tablet in your lap, earphones in your ears, cell phone in your hands and i-pod in your purse, for any case. The main question is how long your battery will last and did you spent all credits, because how you will reply to the important message?

How many of you can say that you found the good friend, who will follow your conversation with attention? This world became selfish, not the just technological place. If we all talk just about our problems, how we can expect that others will help us?



These are signs that you found a friend who doesn't listen:

He replies with short words. 
( Yes, I understand. It is ok. )

He doesn't look into your eyes. His attention is somewhere else.

He is typing messages on his cell phone until you are talking.

He avoids giving an opinion. 
(Well, you know the best. It is not my business. )

He offers himself as the role model.
( Do it for me. Behave like me. )

Now on my mind is popular serial "Allo, Allo", where a woman called Michele talks in this way: "Listen to me carefully, I will say this only once. " Today, it is not enough to say things only once, because your ringtone will distract you and messenger will catch your eye. Did you listen? No.

When you find a friend who will listen to you, this means that person listen with understanding.



How does it look like?

He never interrupts you while you are talking.

He is focused on your eyes.

He gave useful advice.

He is honest. He will not give approval if he doesn't like the story.
( I think you should not do this.)

He will give critics, no matter will you like it or not.

One of the good points in every relationship is to find a partner who will focus on your conversation. The guy who knows to listen is very sexy. Imagine a man who is all ear while you are talking. He asks questions about you, he is interested even you are talking how much times a day your cat eats. An opposite, man who is talking with 3 women at the same time is dispersed. He will not remember what he said. He will be lost in all stories. He will not know what is your name and how old are you. 

These are pieces of evidence that your man is not good listener:

"Excuse me, can you repeat what you said? My mother called me just right now. "

"I will tell you later what I think about this. "

" I don't understand what you mean by this."

" I am busy dear. And so tired. "

" Sorry, I just watch football now. "


Conversation is the mutual reaction. If you have partner or friend who is interested and focused on your stories, keep him as treasure. Also, listen to him and give him an opinion. There is no more ugly scene than the couple who is sitting in the coffee bar, without live conversation. He is typing on the cell phone, she is reading the newspaper. He is talking on cell phone, she is typing on her laptop. Why? Because he got the urgent call and she got the urgent notification that someone wants to add her. Or she is near record in Candy Crush Saga. That is so important that she did not hear his boyfriend who said that they will break up. Just right now. 

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Women are not weak as they look

Where is a fight, there is love. Since childhood opposite genders tease each other, make conflicts and argue, just to compare their mental strength. Men are strong gender by nature, but many of them underestimate woman’s will and character. Some judgments define a woman as fragile, sensitive creature, and the man who is educated in the traditional family will often underestimate a woman. He will see the weak creature in the corner with a face full of tears. Well, a woman can defend herself in thousand ways. She will seduce you to obey you. She will pretend weakness just to take revenge on you if you humiliate her. Be ready for her trick as on poker table. Especially men who are used to silent, obedient woman can’t count on such resistance. Remember, the woman is the one who is working and clean house after work, carry for kids and for your laundry and your meal. Women are multi-tasking, so how can they be weak? When you fall in love with a woman who can care for herself, she doesn’t …

Are you the hunter or the kill?

Criticism is a sensitive field. It is easy to give critics, to mock someone, but it is not easy to receive this in return and to make a joke by yourself. Do you laugh at yourself, in public? Do you allow friends to tease you, even this means that they will overrate your faults and make your values smaller? There is a thin line between social clown and person who loves to make jokes about yourself. If you are a hunter, if you respect yourself, you will allow the certain dose of criticism but you will not be a doormat. If you ask me to whom you must be grateful, maybe my answer will surprise you. Yes, i am grateful to my parents because they give me motivation, strong will, and attitude. I am grateful to my sister because she stood on my side when i felt miserable. I am grateful to my husband for accepting me as i am, even when i was the worst nightmare. Mostly, i am grateful to my rivals, to develop my strength. As i passed my initiation, faced with many troubles and get out from bigg…

Are you grateful for the things you have ?

Are you grateful for the things you have in your life? I don’t think about furniture or new plates, i think about your private and professional life. Sometimes, we forget to save gratitude in our heart because our mind is too busy by dreaming about something we still did not realize. Gradation looks like this: I don’t have boyfriend. I have boyfriend but we are not married. We are married but we don’t have kids. We have only one child. Our kid is not obedient, we have problematic teenager.
In professional plan, we can use same pattern: I am studying and i don’t have job. I have job but my salary is small. I have good salary but i have no free time. I have job but my boss is dictator. It is about human nature, where all are rivals, competitors and opponents. Why your neighbor owe expensive car, and you are going at work with bus? Why your kids can’t have designers clothes? Why your friend has bigger flat then you? We are dreaming because of our ambitions. It is not bad, i am also ambiti…