580. I am all ear
We are surrounded by cell phones, computers, i-phones and other gadgets , which distract our attention. If you ask for a friend who will listen to you, that is hard task. As much gadgets became great tools to avoid someone, in other hand we are their prisoners. Imagine when you traveled by bus or train before 20 years, and bunch of creepers annoyed you. How to escape? You would buy the biggest newspaper to hide your face , just not to listen old lady in front of you who were talking about their grandchildren. Today, you will look as creature from Star Wars. Tablet in your lap, earphones in your ears, cell phone in your hands and i-pod in your purse, for any case. The main question is how long your battery will last and did you spent all credits , because how you will reply on important message?
How many of you can say that you found good friend, who will follow your conversation with attention? This world became selfish, not just technological place. If we all talk just about our problems, how we can expect that others will help us?
These are signs that you found friend who doesn't listen:
He replies with short words.
( Yes, i understand. It is ok. )
He doesn't look into your eyes. His attention is somewhere else.
He is typing messages on his cell phone until you are talking.
He avoids to give opinion.
(Well, you know the best. It is not my business. )
He offers himself as role model.
( Do it as me. Behave as me. )
Now on my mind is popular serial "Allo, allo", where woman called Michele talks in this way : "Listen to me carefully, i will say this only once. " Today, it is not enough to say things only once, because your ring tone will distract you and messenger will catch your eye. Did you listen? No.
When you find friend who will listen to you, this mean that person listen with understanding.
How does it look like?
He never interrupts you while you are talking.
He is focused at your eyes.
He gave useful advice.
He is honest. He will not give approval if he doesn't like the story.
( I think you should not do this.)
He will give critics, no matter will you like it or not.
One of good points in every relations is to find partner who will focus at your conversation. Guy who knows to listen is very sexy. Imagine man who is all ear while you are talking. He asks questions about you, he is interested even you are talking how much times at day your cat eats. An opposite, man who is talking with 3 women in the same time is dispersed. He will not remember what he said. He will be lost in all stories. He will not know what is your name and how old are you.
These are evidences that your man is not good listener:
"Excuse me, can you repeat what you said? My mother called me just right now. "
"I will tell you later what i think about this. "
" I don't understand what you mean by this."
" I am busy dear. And so tired. "
" Sorry i just watch football now. "
Conversation is mutual reaction. If you have partner or friend who is interested and focused at your stories, keep him as treasure. Also, listen him and give him an opinion. There is no more ugly scene than couple who is sitting in coffee bar, without live conversation. He is typing on cell phone, she is reading newspaper. He is talking on cell phone, she is typing on her laptop. Why? Because he got urgent call and she got urgent notification that someone wants to add her. Or she is near record in Candy Crush Saga. That is so important that she did not hear his boyfriend who said that they will break up. Just right now.