586. Is your mother in law Bogeyman?
Once when you got married, you will spread your social circle, because together with your husband you will get bonus gift. Welcome to his family , especially in arms of his mother. Your romantic fairy tale will be richer with another creature, your mother in law.
If you believe that she will accept you as you are, you are naive. Every mother in law thinks that son is her property and you are considered as enemy number one, unless you capture her heart. Some marriages broke under her influence, other survived, but the main character in this game is your husband, who will take an important decision: will he act as man or he is still a little boy. In this game i took victory because my mother in law did not favorize me, but i got support of my husband.
What woman can expect from her mother in law, once when she enters into husbands family?
Here are some basic complaints.
" You don't cook good. My son is skinny because of your meals. "
" This flat is not clean enough. I should clean after you? "
" You act with money as you are millionare. Save something."
" You are not pregnant yet"
" Your clothes is expensive and your flat is dirty. "
If you are modern woman with good job who is not chef in kitchen, and your mother in law is traditional woman with old fashioned values, here is seed of first battle. She will not understand that you are working whole day and that you come home late, not always in the mood to cook and clean your flat, because your boss gave you too much pressure. Maybe she dedicated life to her husband who was never at home, but she waited him with warm meal until he was drunk in some bar with friends, so she will expect your sacrifice too. Well, surprise, you will ask your husband to help you with meals and to clean after himself, because you need to earn money. Maybe she did not make love with her husband for a years and she got fat, so her husband would not like to see her naked even in her nightmare, but you are still hot and sexy and sex is important part of your marriage. So, if you are not ironing every day, your husband will forgive you because he enjoys in sex with you.
Another part of this story are your parents. The basic mistake which mother in laws do is to complain about your mother or father. So, they did not educated you well. They made spoiled brat from you. When mother in law start to gossip your parents, this is start of war. You will defend your parents, and she will spit on them, because her son deserves better. If you are with right man, he will shut her mouth very fast, by alert : "don't involve in my marriage. " If you are with immature idiot, he will stand in front of his mother and yell at you, because you should not upset old lady.
Some trick which mother in laws do:
Playing role of victim.
I am old, sick and i will die soon. You are killing me.
Playing role of big, caring mother.
I gave all to my children, and now i don't have nothing. I lost my son cause of you.
Playing role of bodyguard.
I will protect my son from slutty witch as you are.
I will care on my son's wallet. He will not spend money on you.
I will check your friends, you will not cheat my son around.
I am older than you many years, and i always have right. I cook better, clean better and i care on my children better than you.
Daughters in law are also not stupid and they will do many things to get out from nightmare and to take good position in this battle. Here are some impression of my friends:
"I don't listen what my mother in law talk to me. I became deaf. "
" I never call her mother. That is so stupid, i have one mother and she is not the one."
" She is one old sad granny. So i try to stay neutral. "
The worst kind of relation between mother and daughter in law is fake partnership. This is situation where both sides play role, and in fact they can't stand each other. Their conversation is sweet, but when one of them turn back, other will gossip her. It looks like this : " Of course madam, you look gorgeous today, and this lunch is remarkable. " " This old Bogeyman had bad hair day and she almost poisoned me with lunch. "
Holidays are time when family gathers together. If you could not stand each other during year, don't go to meet her for Christmas or New year, because it will get worse. Only if your husband insists , go with him. In this cold war, his word is last. He will tell you to make peace with his mother or to avoid her presence. Some man are bounded with their mothers, some not.
If your mother law is a Bogeyman, don't be close with her. You can say hello , thanks and i am sorry, but every attempt to make friendship will fails, if she decided to hate you. You are not sleeping with her, so take this as her choice. For peace in your home, this subject will not be actual anymore. If you have good mother in law, then you are obligated to be good with her too. Just for the record, even she is good, always draw a line, otherwise she will be in your home as furniture and you will never get rid of her.