587. 3 types of toxic relations
Have you ever feel that you stand between love and hate toward one person? Your heart loves him, but you mind despise your choice. This happens when your partner is humiliating you. In this way, that is Stockholm syndrome, when you are bonded with someone who doesn't love you. This is relation between master and slave. He will not leave you, but you will give him your heart on the palm. That means, he will take from you all what he wish, and if you complain, it will get worse.
Chemistry is weird thing. Once when someone press right buttons, you will not ask what this could bring to you. That man makes you hot, you enjoy to make love with him, and you love him. If you scratch under surface, there are many failures. He is not obligated and not responsible for you, because you are the one who asked this, not he. He only accepted what you offered to him.
How you will know that you involved in toxic relation?
This kind of relation could be covered with sweet words, promises, hot passion, so you will not have idea that you stuck in the trap. The more time you spent with such man, you are deeper in problems.
3 types of this relation will help you to find out are you in this danger zone.
Nobody knows about you and him. He said, it must be secret because he is married, not ready or too busy for real relation. If you accept this, slavery is already here.
Relation on distance.
It doesn't matter how many kilometers separates you. But, if he was in your city and he did not call you, he doesn't care. If he asks from you to visit him, and he doesn't want to pay expenses, or he never visited you, he is not interested for something serious.
Relation without guarantee.
He never talks about marriage. Until this is good , he is pleased and he doesn't ask for more. After 10 year without guarantee , you might ask yourself, will you spend your whole life wondering. Or he will abandon you because of someone else?
Healthy relationship involves respect, loyalty, responsibility. By default, you don't have to ask for this, because if he loves you, that is understandable. It is like you would ask him to bring you water if you are thirsty. If you are in toxic relation, he will make respect under question. Who are you anyway to blame him for infidelity ? He did not promise you nothing. You cried for him and wanted to be with him, so pay your price.
Darlene was in toxic relation with Bryan. They were lovers five years. He wanted to be free man, but still he wanted to have someone who will care for him. Darlene knew that they are not in classic relation, because he avoid to introduce her to his friends and family. In this case, she hoped that Bryan is just playboy who cannot change, because other women will be hurt too. But, Bryan was not the same toward every women in his life. He was gentleman when he wanted. Darlene got his bad edition. He asked her only for sex or when he was alone. She felt that it ruins her whole life. Her colleagues at work did not respect her anymore, her parents were worried and she lost some friends, because they could not listen her voluntary tragedy anymore. It was agony until the day when Darlene met another guy. Something broke in her heart when Bryan was not jealous. She realized, that Bryan indeed never cared.
Toxic relation is voluntary connection, and that is sad part. Nobody force you, but you are stubborn because only he makes you happy. Or, you are too big coward to ask something better or you think you deserve little passion and big disgrace?
In real love, heart is not poisoned with hate, revenge and jealousy. Toxic relation involves fight for survival. I am not sure, who will survive for a long time, because this is far from happy end.