588. Fear of replacement




Competition is pain in the ass. Once when you feel that someone replaced you, your ego is wounded. Dignity is under question and you can ask yourself why is that other person better than you and what makes her/him so special. How to get back in the game ? Are you senior like in tennis, who wish to defeat younger players with your big experiences? Or, you will just let it go and make peace with destiny, because your time is over?

Friendship, job and love are three spots where is replacement possible, and in all areas this could be painful. So, your friend doesn't think that you are cool anymore, and he found new team? Your boss got rid of you because he needs fresh brains? Your husband abandoned you because of younger woman? Yes, you might feel as shit, because all what you did before is not enough to keep you in surface, you are swimming surrounded by sharks and they will eat you each moment. 

Where is salvation ? Molly gave example of person who faced with her fear of replacement.

Molly survived many situations in her life where people treated her as second violin. She had team of friends in neighborhood, but when new girl came all accepted her because she was so cool, and Molly was not interesting anymore. Also, her best friend Alice always dated with guys who were chosen by Molly at first, and Molly felt as she was stolen. Molly got job as intern in one law firm, but they did not keep her cause she was too rebellious. She did not want to follow their rules as they thought, she had some unusual ideas and it was her end.

One day Molly was in another situation where she could be replaced, and her alarm turned on. She finally found good boyfriend, but his female friend  called him all the time on his phone. It was friend from childhood who once loved him. Molly knew she could lose him, so she imagined the worst situation of breakup, cried and said to him that he must decide between his friend and her. Her boyfriend chose Molly , with warnings that she can't control him and that she will talk with friend not to call him so often. Then Molly realized, that replacement was her biggest fear, her nightmare, and that her behavior is indeed the key of solution. She stopped to fear that she will lose everything in her life.

Time is cruel. It works in shifts, so suddenly you will not be enough smart, beautiful or useful. You will not be popular. That is the reason why Madonna likes to cooperate with young singers and kiss them in mouth, because she wants to keep enemies closer. She will steal pieces of their youth, as reflection of glory. She wants to shine forever, but for this collaboration is necessary. 



What to do, if you don't want to be replaced:

Be original.

Do something what is only yours. Be the only person who can do it something on successful way. 

Be faithful, loyal and respectful.

Believe it or not, this values are forgotten nowadays. Loyal person is hard to find because everyone has his price.

Accept younger colleagues as refreshment, not as treat.

Show that you are not afraid. If you gain fear, this is nail into your coffin. 

Have backup plan in the case of trouble.

Say to your competition that you have joker in the pocket, even you are bluffing. 

People will find you as interesting person this moment when you have another option. Nobody likes despair or to be the last straw.


If you are victim of replacement, think about how long you can last. Are you creature with deadline? No, you are not hamburger or pizza. It must be something else. Probably you play with open cards from the first moment, you love people to much, you give too much and never keep your secrets private. Probably everyone knows everything about your privacy or your life can be googled at internet. Did you ever said no or you rejected to do something for your special people? If you gave too much, you are already used. 

Irreplaceable people never discover everything, even when they lose. They are unpredictable and mysterious. They know to whom they will trust and to whom they will turn back. They will do much for their friends, but never everything, because there is border between good person and fool.


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