Life in common is intro in marriage. Once when you decide to live with your partner, you will share bills, bed and meals. This includes also mutual ownership on remote control, and everyone who visits you will also visit your partner. On my personal opinion, couples should live together before they get married. It doesn't have to last too long, but this is test position for you both, how you will deal with this form of relation.
While you are dating, you see only best sides of your partner. He is in nice clothes, you will not see his dirty socks, his breath will be fresh and you will go on cool places. After romantic night, you will go in your flat, he will stay in his flat. His mother will wash his laundry and make him lunch, you will not pay part of his bills and he will watch his football match at peace, That is difference between boyfriend and husband. Wife will collect empty bottles of beer , girlfriend will just call on phone for sexy talk. Wife will clean dirty floor , girlfriend will use mirror in bathroom to fix her lipstick. Where is no serious commitments, there is no obligations. It has advantages and negative sides.
If you think about your plans, you will realize that you can't date with him forever. Dating is cool while you are young, but if you are 40 and you date with man in forties, that is meeting of two tired people who need comfortable place to settle down. It is childish to wait him on the rain until his bus come, or to apologize to her because your dad did not give your car. So, one day you decided to move in his flat, but he is not ready. He would rather stay your boyfriend, because if you share flat with him, next step is marriage.
Accord his reaction, you will know does he gets you as serious partner for relation. When man owns flat, this is his kingdom. If he lives alone, it gives him opportunities to invite more women for sex, to party with his drinking buddies and to make mess as he wish. Yes, he likes to sleep surrounded by bottles of wine, with his dirty socks and noisy television. He likes to listen his music as he wish and to forget where he put plates. He doesn't mind to wash dishes three days after and to wear same shirt more times.
You will ask, how to move in his flat, if he is not ready ?
You can't act like thief and enter by force, because man's rage is not something what you wish to see.
Well, there are some tricks how to persuade him that you are ideal roommate and perfect match for him.
Find your own job. If you are employed woman, he will see that you are able to pay bills.
Don't act as boss. He saw this already, with his mother. Show him that you are ready for compromises.
If you spent night there, leave something as reminder.
Your toothbrush, well you forgot it, isn't it? Your lipstick. Your Bra. If he return this to you immediately , with alert, he is not ready. If he doesn't say anything, you have chance to move in.
Show him that you have already place for life.
You are not homeless. He must see your real intentions, that you will not use him as toy to pay your bills. Even if you live with parents, show him that you don't mind , but that you would rather live with him because you love him.
Don't redecorate flat soon when you move in. Men hate if you try to change their place by your wishes, and you did not ask him. If he likes to live in mess, show him gentle that is not practical way. Find socks which he lost a long time ago so he will be grateful.
Now i have on my mind old songs by Pet Shop Boys, "Rent. " They sing "i love you, you pay my rent. " Well, your partner must be aware that you are not homeless intruder who would otherwise live in the street. You are not burden, you are gift.
After 5 years of dating Alice move in with Peter, in his flat. His mother was against this, and when Alice left towel, she said that she must pick up her rags. Soon, Alice found job. After she paid first bills, Peter's mother became quiet. Soon Alice bought new furniture, and Peter invited his friends to visit them. All what friends said to Peter was : "Wow, you are lucky man. Keep her not to run away from you. "