602. Crossing the line
Imagine yourself behind fence. On this fence is sign " do not disturb". Would it dare you to cross the line? Or, you would respect that alert, waiting for someone to open the gate?
Human relations are games between walls and fences. Everything is good until person is happy, talkative and in good mood, but life is not paradise and black days will also find place. Easy going friendship is based on smiles and hugs, but what happens when person drag into depression and doesn't want to talk with you? What happens when your love is quiet and you can't find a reason?
In this situation, we are always in doubts. Our decision is based on lines "i can't leave him like that" or " he will think i don't care if i don't try. " Well, sometimes the worst decision is to pull person on sleeve, to talk and smile with you , because that is breaking the wall and cross over fence, where trespass is not allowed.
Imagine that your friend broke with someone and she is quiet for a days.
Would you help her with corny advices like this?
He is not worthy of your tears.
He did not care about you anyway.
Lot of guys are waiting for you, and you just need to open your eyes.
Focus on your job, you need to earn money. You can't live from love.
In best case, your friend will listen you without reply. Some people are too polite so say "enough" and they will just pretend that they are listening, but they will not hear you. More extrovert person will hate you if you cross her line.
The best test of friendship is skill of understanding. If you can sit next to person, quietly, without forcing any communication, and later just hug your sad friend, this is mature. Wait a moment until person is ready to talk with you. When sadness pressure your lungs and heart, you are not able to talk.
Sign "do not disturb" is line of dignity and respect. Person could be mad dog, and you don't want to dare mad dog.
Roberta and Molly broke their friendship because of funny story. Roberta broke up with boyfriend, and did not reply on calls for a week, so Molly knocked at her door to ask her what is going on. Roberta opened door and said her that she is not in the mood because of her problems. Molly said: "You are selfish indeed. You think only you have problems? You ignore your best friend. No wonder you have no friends. " So Roberta had no choice than to kick her out.
Caring and disturbing are two different things. You might be in concern, but if you worry, you will not use force. In this case you are pressing wrong buttons. If someone wants to keep distance, let him go.
Life will choke us with problems and we need to face with them alone. Offer your help but don't wait so long that someone accept your hand. Crossing the line without passport is not legal, even in human relations.