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Don't get marry because the society makes a pressure




The pressure of society is thunder on your bright mind. When community expects from you to stick with rules, the only strong character will resist. The rest will follow ethics in fear not to be judged or crucified as intruders. As much men are afraid to go early into married life, women are under fear to finish as old maids. 

Croatian proverb says: "Don't miss the last train. " It could be related to women who are not married yet, to catch a man and get bonded until is not too late. Statistic said that average age when women get married in Croatia is 27. So, since 18 women are in the race, to catch a man, buy a wedding dress and raise a family. 

As a teenager, I spent many years as a single girl, from the period of 16 until 23 I was mostly single, with 2 short relations not worthy of memory. It was not hard for me cause I was busy with reading, focused on my college and I had a lot of fun with my friends. It was period when I fall in love quick, chill out more quickly and make cuts for everything that bothers me. 



In that period, I got two worst advice ever, made by my two good friends.

Advice number one :

 Find a boyfriend, even he is ugly, you will feel safe, it is not important who is, just not to be alone.


Advice number two :

Don't be so picky, because everyone here is already picked. 


I had two friends, girls who got married in 25. They had serious boyfriends in high school and already on prom night, they had plans with them. When I was partying, they already bought gowns, made a list of guests on their wedding parties and went into the married zone. They did not invite me to the wedding. 

Society did good work because both of my friends had unhappy relations before and they wanted to forget about love wounds, so they found nice guys to get married. Fear from the last train was so huge that they went into the cabin and locked themselves with their partners, just not to be judged later. Of course, I did not listen to their advice and I went to romantic hell alone many years later because I did not want to get married just to get married. 

Here is a list of last train reasons, where is not love:

He is a good person and he will not cheat me, I know because he had the only girl before me. He is serious.

He has money. Material security is very important.

His parents adore me. They see me as a daughter in law.

We are friends for a long time. He will respect me.

I am already 25 years old. My choice will be smaller with years.


As time passed by, I was aware of the risk. I will admit, I was afraid not to stay alone. I had one more fear, which was bigger than first, that was a nightmare indeed. What if I finish with the wrong person? I saw marriages which did not work out, because of many reasons. I set myself free of everything and decided to be a gambler. All or nothing. It was worthy, I got my jackpot. I was not so young when I got married, I did not catch the last train. I saw this train and I did not enter there. I ride the bike instead of train. Now I feel good on my bike, we two are riding together. 

Nowadays I see more and more girls who leave that last train. They got married in the thirties, forties and don't care what will people say. Here is one interesting fact from my high school: on 15 prom anniversary, 4 married couples got divorced. They married under society's pressure too early, and it failed. I was the witness of their wrong decisions. This feeling is similar when you vomit: you want to throw out your food because stomach pains, so you do it with force.  When you can't swallow something, spit it out.

Sometimes, having the courage to say no is your best card. The one who smiles last will smile on the sweetest way. 


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