622. Bride from last train
Pressure of society is thunder on your bright mind. When community expect from you to stick with rules, only strong character will resist. The rest will follow ethic in fear not to be judged or crucified as intruders. As much men are afraid to go early into marriage life, women are under fear to finish as old maids.
Croatian proverb says : "Don't miss the last train. " It could be related on women who are not married yet, to catch a man and get bonded until is not too late. Statistic said that average age when women get marry in Croatia is 27. So, since 18 women are in race, to catch man, buy wedding dress and raise a family.
As teenager i spent many years as single girl, from period of 16 until 23 i was mostly single, with 2 short relations not worthy of memory . It was not hard for me cause i was busy with reading, focused on my college and i had lot of fun with my friends. It was period when i fall in love quick, chill out more quick and make cuts for everything what's bothers me.
In that period, i got two worst advices ever, made by my two good friends.
Advice number one :
Find a boyfriend, even he is ugly, you will feel safe, it is not important who is, just not to be alone.
Advice number two :
Don't be so picky, because everyone here is already picked.
I had two friends, girls who got married in 25. They had serious boyfriends in high school and already on prom night they had plans with them. When i was partying, they already bought gowns, made a lists of guests on their wedding parties and went into married zone. They did not invite me at wedding.
Society did good work because both of my friends had unhappy relations before and they wanted to forget on love wounds, so they found nice guys to get marry. Fear from last train was so huge that they went into cabin and locked themselves with their partners, just not to be judged later. Of course, i did not listen their advices and i went to romantic hell alone many years later, because i did not want to get marry just to get marry.
Here is list of last train reasons, where is not love:
He is good person and he will not cheat me, i know because he had only girl before me. He is serious.
He has money. Material security is very important.
His parents adore me. They see me as daughter in law.
We are friends for a long time. He will respect me.
I am already 25 years old. My choice will be smaller with years.
As time passed by, i was aware of risk. I will admit, i was afraid not to stay alone. I had one more fear, which was bigger than first, that was nightmare indeed. What if i finish with wrong person? I saw marriages which did not work out, because of many reasons. I set myself free of everything and decided to be a gambler. All or nothing. It was worthy, i got my jackpot. I was not so young when i got married, i did not catch last train. I saw this train and i did not enter there. I ride on bike instead of train. Now i feel good on my bike, we two are riding together.
Nowadays i see more and more girls who leave that last train. They got marry in thirties, forties and don't care what will people say. Here is one interesting fact from my high school: on 15 prom anniversary 4 married couples got divorced. They married under society's pressure too early, and it failed. I was witness of their wrong decisions. This feeling is similar when you vomit: you want to throw out your food because stomach pains, so you do it with force. When you can't swallow something, spit it out.
Sometimes, having courage to say no is your best card. The one who smile last will smile on the sweetest way.