630. Guy on loan
Thinking about your ex can ruin your day. There are some inspirational thoughts as "karma works out " or "everything is coming back" related to this subject. If you think that he will get what he deserves i am afraid that you are a bit idealist. Not everyone pays bills in love and some of your ex's will live happily even after, with pretty wife and cute kids, until you still haven't found what you are looking for. So living in state of bitterness might slow you down.
What is one of big mistakes which women do is to wait their ex until he changes mind. That kind of women hold guys on loan. What does it mean? Shortly, i will illustrate this with statement of girl i knew a long time ago, when she struggled for her relation.
Girl X said this:
"I don't care if he cheats me. He always come back to me, i always stay. These girls, he hides them in his car, but with me he is going by the sea, in his apartment. They are just temporary, and then he cries and beg me to forgive him. "
When women give guy rights to have instant affairs, they are not wise as they think. Let him this once, what will stop him to do this again? I understand you if you have kids and you don't want to lose their father, so you decided for desperate moves. Maybe it works out for you, but for sure you paid price to sleepless nights and your face looks as big question. Ask yourself, would he let you to do this to him, with some other guy?
When you lend your partner to other women, be ready on next situation:
He will make love with her.
He will take her on your favorite places, so all what you passed with him, she will make dirty.
He will share with her some confident info. Later she can use it against you.
He might fall in love in her, you never know what can happen between them.
He might compare her and you and bring decision that she is the piece in his life which misses.
Every woman who let other woman to involve in her life is a gambler. In this situation, you might win if that is short affair which will finish before it started properly. If you stop this progress on time, your partner will feel guilt and his conscience will warn him. Well, if you pretend that you don't care, this playground is empty. Nobody's land is not anymore your land so guy on loan is available and free.
Another thing, even if you cross over his affair, you will remember his betrayal. Imagine that you get opportunity for cheating, would you cheat your partner too? In this case, if you are betrayed, you are not obligate to be loyal to him.
These days i am reading about possible reunion in relation of Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis. She hold his back during divorce with Amber Heard and now she comforts him. Did he deserved this? After all, he was the one who wanted twice younger woman and abandoned his family. I would not support him later, i would make salt on his wound. Especially, he has beaten his wife Amber, and even if she manipulated with him, he is the one who caused mess.
When you gave your guy on loan, he will not return in same shape. He will be different because that other woman took away some pieces of his heart. Remember this if you decide on experiment. This is as you gave your dress to fatty friend, and she returns in with stains and ripped buttons.