647. Where flirt is finished, and love starts
"I love you". Two words we all like to hear. It might be spoken in passion, as an apology, as sense of duty, but again we will feel emotional reaction, and the worst happens when we realize that we are manipulated in the name of non romantic purpose. This moment you think that you are taken, but indeed you are part of program which aim is only sex.
Flirt is the most easier thing in the world. We pick up someone, we don’t know much about him and surrender is here, without questions who is he and what he wants. Well, real love, serious relation, that is something more real, not just love story from cheap romantic novel or basic material for notebook.
When i talk about love i think about word one and only. It takes two for love, but not more than two persons. This love gave birth to animal instinct, how to mark our area. No, this is not cage for partner and locked doors. There are more spontaneous ways to show rivals not to poke nose in our sacred privacy.
When Sabina realized that her boyfriend’s friend, Matt is too kind with her, she decided to get rid of him somehow. Matt was always third part in their deals and often gave compliments to Sabina, which were inappropriate. Steven, her boyfriend was bonded with Matt, after all, they know each other from childhood. Sabina got brilliant idea, to connect her friend Trisha with Matt. It worked out, Trisha was sweet and somehow she saw something attractive in Matt. Steven was little disappointed when Matt had no time for them anymore, but Sabina was happy. Her smart move saved relation.
Nothing is so available for outside influences as love relation. New couple is sensation, there are so much candidates to poke nose in other’s privacy. Some of them have good intentions, others are malicious, but both have something in common : they disturb. No, we were not born together with our partner and we have our friends and parents, but start of relation needs adjustment time. Let him breathe, how he feels surrounded by our brothers, uncles, granny, friends and neighbors, is someone is bothering him. Some shades could be fatal, relation might broke, because of few wrong words. Dear friend might be your jealous rival, your boss might want to deal with your partner for some interests, and your mother is overprotective.
What i learnt is not to be weak. Say “this is mine”, and even this decision is not easy, this is necessary, especially if someone wants to interfere in your privacy. You can’t use force, but give respect to your partner and support him if your parents start to annoy him. Now you are adult, and show your attitude. You might move in another city or lose best friend, but your partner is worthy of that, if relation is serious.
Here flirt is finished and relation starts. While flirt doesn’t know for boundaries, love relation is more tight space. While we are flirting, we have more options and we are ready to get out of this by method of elimination. In love relation we are connected on higher level, so engagement is possible, than marriage and we wish to make fence for our space, especially to get rid of intruders.
If partner is not jealous at all, ask yourself does he cares at all. If he doesn’t ask you why you did not call him few days, he is your player , not boyfriend. He makes space for his affairs , too. Silence in relation is suspicious, it gives doubts of what’s happening indeed.
The best illustration of your relation is question about support. You might see that your partner is passive, he did not support you when you were in trouble. What he said ? “You are not my wife, i am not obligated. ” This is a hint, you must vanish from this relation.