When you are in love, heart is going forward your brain. As subject caught in Cupid's network you can't think clear. As objective observer, you will see in other relations all what you did not see in own relation. So until you were walking dead or blind sheep in your failed relation, now you see clear situation when your friend ask you for advice. That is how things work out, the best advices are in other's area. We are clever generals after battles and bad soldiers in our own wars.
What i noticed in my researching is one fact: the more man is popular, more women will follow him and fight for his attention. The worst heart breakers, playboys and players are surrounded with the biggest number of women. They are their hostages.
What women forget in this situation are these facts:
For playboys, every woman is the same. Ugly, old, stupid, beautiful, young, she is number.
If you fight for man he will laugh to you. He is the one who choose.
More you run for this kind of man, your level of respect is lower. You fall in his eyes more down if you follow him as sheep.
You are not the one who will stop playboy to play with others. He will do it when he wants and if he wants.
Don't say to him your trustful things. Man who is playing with many women is not trustful. All what you shared with him can finish in other pocket. Your messages, your photos, your secrets. He loves to bark and brag about his success.
For me was always humiliation to fight for man's attention. I will not say that i was not doing this, but i learnt my lesson early and i never repeated this mistake again. When i was girl, i said to one boy from my school that i love him, at prom party. It was word about love which struggles with my heart very long time, i wanted to set myself free. That guy was familiar as player and he bragged after prom about this. For me it was such shame that i did not appeared on any anniversary after this. 15 years later i was with my boyfriend in one coffee bar, and that fatal guy approached to us. He stand in front of me and said: "So, i really did not see you a long time ago. " He was staring on me so i introduced him to my boyfriend. We talked with him as friends and i paid drinks. This fatal guy was very surprised by my reaction. I acted as nothing happened. I don't know what he expected, jealousy or my boyfriend's attack, but we killed him with our kindness. He felt unpleasant and after 15 minutes he left.
What i wish to say, women often forget facts about their dignity. Women forget old rules not to run for men. I know women who travel into other countries once when they got old, just to have sex with foreign men. I know women who desperately ask attention of younger guys just to feel young inside because they got old outside. They are love hostages in their own prison.
Once i saw women who talked together about one guy. They were in kind of desperate club and i heard their conversation:
"He had for each of us special song."
"I am his second, and you must be the third?"
" We are all the same for him. "
Someone could sorry for that women, but i despised their attitude. No matter how old you are, how poor you feel inside, how ugly you feel , you should not forget your principles. If you let guy to walk over you, this is intro in your death . We are not finished with our life until we have our pride and dignity and until we are not hostages of opportunists.
Remember, do not judge the one who put you into this position. Judge yourself because you fall into personal abyss and became a hostage.