Violence is not a visible thing that we can say: This person is violent. There is no title on forehead about aggressive behavior. A man with muscles, bald head and tattoo is not a representative person of violent behavior.
If we could talk with the beaten woman and ask her: “How could you be so blind and did not notice that your husband is violent”, we would be unfair. Violence can happen to everyone because everyone has bitch button.
There is a difference between a naturally aggressive person and someone who is pushed over the edge. Hasty man will get mad on every small sign of disrespect, he has no sense for jokes and it is dangerous to tease him. If you say him “you fool” even just to make him smile, he could hit you. A man who is pushed over edge needs more reasons to become violent. The man who is cheated by his wife could forget love toward her and start to hate her. He could feel enemy in his bed because that is not the person he used to think she is.
Scarves and bruises are not only track of violence. This could be an underestimation, situation when your partner tries to make you less worthy or even humiliate you. Some couples use their fight for better sex. What happens under sheets is their private thing, so if they can solve problems on this way, lucky for them.
You never think about beat your partner? You never had in mind even to slap her? Did you bite your lips when she gets you mad? Did you try to make personal war?
We don’t ask for something we think we deserve. We find something that we mark as a challenge and then we deal with this in the best possible way. Until hot temper is under control, all is good.
Just on another hand, nobody doesn’t want to collect broken bones. Person X once said to me: “I made her eye blue. She called the police. When police went, I beat her again. “
I asked him why he did it. He said: “She was dissident. She disrespected me and got angry so fast. “
He tried to kill devil inside of her, but instead of this, he killed her love toward him.
When you beat your partner, you slowly kill your love. Maybe she forgives and asks for a good in you, and maybe she got cold and ask for a way out. A warm hug from another person, understanding and better future.
Nobody wants to live in fear of feasts, nobody wants sleepless nights and the broken nose. Nobody wants to explain to neighbors what is going on. Feeling of a victim is not the good feeling when you think that everyone pity you. Now you have the feeling that even lame couple next door are happier than you.
The truth is hidden behind many doors. Just, when you ask for help, save your dignity. Help to yourself because sometimes others could make more damage than mercy.