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608. Temporary distance

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Quarrels are part of every relation. Until you are fighting and arguing, your relation is alive. Both sides want compromise, want to progress, to run for better situation. Even you are swearing, still you care about your partner because you want to prove him something. Quarrels are process of learning. On this point i don't think about physicall conflict with fist, on abusing or yelling that everyone in the street could hear your scream. I think about healthy, constructive relation where two parties debate and discuss about important problems in their relation.
Suddenly, one of them suggest silence. Temporary distance, tampon zone where nobody can cross and time is the main factor. 


So, it could involve next solutions:
I will sleep in another room.
Ok, you might leave common bed and sleep in separated room. You will not runaway, just silence is something what you need.
I will live in my flat or with my parents, for a while.
Well, define this deadline. For a while can't be too long t…

701. Do you ignore your partner to show who is the boss?

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I used to say a long time ago that ignorance is deadly weapon against your rivals , and sword in the heart of your beloved ones. If you want to hurt person, ignore her. If you want to get revenge, use ignorance. Now imagine situation when you are in relation and you have certain expectations from your partner. You wish to share daily problems with him. You wish to smile to stupid jokes and to get opinions about something you did or said. Your partner should have skills of listening, because person who can’t listen is deaf with purpose, and such partner is ignorant one. How ignorance works out in relations? You send him long text, he reply with disclaimer or short sentence. You talk about your day, he just say ok and yes. You call him and your speech is long, and he is just numb on other side or say something as “we will see. “ You realize that he did not listen you carefully, because he asked question which is already answered. You talk with your partner, and he stares in other people at t…

700. Be careful with whom you are hanging out

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A long time ago my mother told me : “Be careful with whom you are hanging out. ” She knew that my friend, who was 15 years old then, already have a boyfriend, who is 8 years older than she is. She saw them during summer holidays at river beach, how they cuddle each other without shame, in publicity. She said that she is not good company for me, because she is obviously experienced, and filthy. Few years ago i realized my mother has spoken truth. That friendship broke, because my friend X was indeed embarrassing person, without inhibitions and indeed selfish. After all, her boyfriend wanted to touch me once, when i was very young, and i was shocked with his behavior. That man was pervert, and she did not see that. They split later, as my mother knew what will happen. My parents never made differences between reach and poor, smart and limited, ugly or pretty people. Just, they always suggested me to care on my reputation. If you are associated with such people, they said, others will n…

699. Which are the most annoying things in cinemas?

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I am big fan of movies. Even nowadays is popular to download movie from internet and watch it at home, cinema will be always my first choice. What happens in big screen, with special sound is incomparable with movie at home. Every summer in my city, in Croatia is kind of event, summer movie. People watch popular films under stars, near river and in old castle with improvised screen. Take popcorn, drink beer and enjoy. Sounds great, isn’t it? What can be more enjoyable than fresh air, sky in evening full of stars, full moon and partner next to you? Even if you hide beer in purse, as me , to complete your impression. That movie , Danish “Message in the bottle” was independent production and very exciting. As i love thrillers , indeed it was my favorite. So, i was totally dedicated, stare in screen and suddenly felt kick in my butt. Woman behind me used my chair to put her feet, as she is watching movie in her own room. I turned on and look at in her face, in hope she will understand my gru…

698. Don't be his option after he left you

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Two people will split after problematic relation, sooner or later. Breakup suppose to be an end, but is that really true? You will see how much someone cared about you accord his behavior after breakup. Three situations are possible : If he is silent, if he doesn’t talk about you around, if he just greet you in the street, that was respectable relation. You could not agree with him, but you will not jump on each other like two wild beasts. Breakups are not always civilized so you could be victim of harassment. He is calling you, stalking you, brag bad things about you, your private moments are now at internet, your friends know all details about your relation. Shortly, you have bad luck. Third situation is the worst, because that is caught in the middle. He doesn’t want reunion with you, but he wants you as hidden lover. What this really means? He will call you when he wish. Meanwhile, be silent. He will not date with you in public. You are his secret. He might has new girlfriend, but you sh…

697. Why women judge each others?

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Women like to say : i am different, i am difficult, i am hard. This might sound as they want to justify their position when something happens to some other women. “It could not happen to me. I would never do that. ” We are able to judge each other cause it is in our nature. If everyone is different, then we are all again the same. I would say that everyone can be easy target in some life situations. Sometimes you can’t help to yourself, when you expose your weakness. Imagine situation. You are hard target when you are cold toward guys which are not your type. That guy is for you ugly, boring, you simply don’t want him and it is very easy to be unavailable toward him. Well, if man attracts you, it is not easy to pretend that you don’t want him, it is not easy to control your feelings, even you smell trouble. That is why we will make same mistakes, even we know how story will finish. When woman is hard target? If she is not in mood for relation, not in such phase, because she got over ha…

696. What we say in silence?

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I am talkative person, but once when i get silent, i can be numb forever. With years i learnt about power of silence, especially in situation when someone hurts you. Before i thought that silent people are weak and fragile, and i underestimated silence as tool of cowards. Recently one person hurt me. We were close friends, i gave him my trust, loyalty and confidence. He mixed this gifts with toys, and he acted like kids with borrowed dolls, he broke it. We had conflict , lot of insults were in the air, and it finished with silence from my side. I used silence and ignorance as my answer, because it would be endless conflict. Simply, i decided to finish this story with my poker face, while insults dropped as raindrops , i was standing and smiling in the storm of bullets. I know i won and this is what i said in my silence: I am busy with my success and i have no time for your frustrations. I am busy with people who love me, and i don’t have time for people who hate me. I burnt this bridge, wh…

695. How to treat immature jerk after breakup?

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Wise quote says: “About ex’s and dead people talk the best. ” When everyone should support this, breakups would be easier. Breakup by itself is hard thing, no matter how much compromises you got and how much time you spent in relation. Even relation faded or you started to feel boredom, when this moment come, one part of your life is over and you need to turn another page. There are few truths about breakups: You will see with whom you were in relation after he gone. You will see how much person respected you after he gone. You will see who is your replacement and that will be sign how much you meant to him. Mature men will never talk bad about women after their relation finished. Simply, accord their beliefs, that is private thing. It is not necessary to talk about this with other family members, with friends, or neighbors. Let’s forget and move forward. She was awesome, but she was not the right one. If you had bad luck to involve with jerk, things are different. Immature men …