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Showing posts from March, 2014

266. Be careful what you wish

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If i could be rich, to swim in big amount of money, i would be so happy. I wish to have perfect body that i can seduce every man. I wish to marry for the most beautiful woman. That are some of expressions inside of us, when we dream about better life. We know that some of our dreams will never be true because they are based on illusions.  What happens when we are not ready to realization of our wishes? Sometimes destiny brings us surprises. Magic finger of miracle is here. Our personal ghost Alladin gives us what we waited for. 
Celeste and Liam lived in the same house with his mother. They had also two children, boy and girl. Celeste could not stand her mother in law. She was busybody and poked her nose in everything. No matter about education of kids or lunch meal, Celeste always got critics from her side. So she was bad mother, she did not learnt to cook well, she could not care for garden around the house. The only good thing was, her mother in law had much money. Celeste sometimes …

265. Your friend is a rat

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This guy will firmly shake your hand. He is here when you are in trouble or when you wish to celebrate, you can count on him in all fields of life. Real friends are miracle because they will be here when you break up your relation, when you get divorce or if you have financial debts. As much real friend makes your life easier, fake friend will get troubles into it.
The beauty of friendship is in avoiding all differences. People with different statuses, from another cultures, religions and races are the best friends, there are many examples where nothing of that can't separate people to associate together.
Question about religion, various languages, traditions and habits will never make such abyss as disrespect, dishonor and disloyalty. You can find yourself in situation when you will choose between self respect and friendship with certain person.
Let me introduce you this guy. His name is Luke and he is mechanic. He works with cars when he is sober, which is not often. He likes alcoh…

264. Emotional intelligence

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Your relations are so fragile and they break after few weeks? Love doesn't live here anymore? If you are unhappy in love, you will be interested to find a causer.
Some of my friends had various suggestions, what could be wrong in their private life.
" Someone put spell on me, or evil eye. I feel this." " My ex cursed me. He said i will never be happy in love anymore." "I think that is God's will. God hates me." "This is because i did not give coins to Gypsy. She brought me bad luck." "I think i always pick wrong guys, i am too good with them. Maybe i am too easy to get?"
When someone says to you that you have lack of emotional intelligence or you did not use it, that sounds offensive. Indeed, emotional intelligence is key of love relations. How we can explain that some people have good relations, and other's are in problems or they are always alone?



Psychologist Daniel Goleman talks about five components of emotional intelligence:


S…

263. Heart for sale

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First date is magical moment. You will appear in your best edition because first impression is the key, how will things continue in next dates. So your favorite lipstick and new dress are your cooperators. This guy is hot, you wish to impress him.
He came right on time and waiter is here to bring you drink. Then, cold shower for you:
- Excuse me, i forgot my wallet. Can you pay for me this time?

This question jump out as threat, you are disappointed. How that happened? Well let's try to fix it and pay this bill. Maybe he was so nervous that he forgot his wallet because he was rushing on date. For few days, he invite you again. 
Waiter is here, and your guy will say:
- I am sorry, can you order something cheaper? This time i have enough money only for two espresso coffee.
This is it, this guy is not poor or clumsy. He is simply miserly or skimpy. Some men will say, this is age of feminism, so why should women not pay their bills?


Here are some rules for guys, what they should not do on fi…

262. Control freak

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Surprises are part of life. We never know what expects us today or tomorrow, we can't predict all possible situations and changes. This unpredictable life is beautiful because opportunities are everywhere. Surprises can be good or bad, but we can't control them.
Rhonda had awful habit to check everything around her. She would lock the door twice before she went out. She was also calling her husband anytime when he did not come at home in expected time. The worst part of her personality she shown at workplace. Her colleagues were terrified of her emails. Every mail had option of confirmation, and if someone did not replied on her email, she was yelling why they did not do it. Her dream was big umbrella , that would be shelter for all people she knew , with purpose that they act accord their wishes.
Once her son teenager went to birthday party. She called him three times to check is everything all right. At the end her son said to her: "You are really annoying. Why don't …

261. Master and slave

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Life will put us in situations when we will play different roles. Today we are independent, but tomorrow we can lose job and someone will take care of us. Yesterday we were poor, today we are reach . Lottery won, and you are master of universe. Wheel of fortune is spinning in unpredictable directions, so you must be flexible.
Real personality of some person comes out when he suddenly got power. There is no such Viagra as success and the best examples are some politicians. Maybe they were without basic rights in past times, but today they are worse than dictators who humiliated them during their youth. Every person would be more fair if he learn basic rule. Don't do to others anything what you did not want that they do to you. 
Keith was kind of office rat. He worked as lawyer in public service, he was one of the counselors in his department. His supervisor was woman and she treated him as slave. He was just small ant who bring her coffee and even he carried her bag when they went to…

260. Love at first sight

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She is very nervous because she has an appointment. She is walking fast and suddenly someone is on her way. What is even worse, coffee to go is in her hands. Suddenly here is crash, her head hit into head of handsome guy. She wanted to kill him, but their eyes met and that is the beginning of love story.
Such stories we can see in romantic movies. Love at first sight is connection between two strangers. It happens on way that sparks appear between them in one moment, even they never met before.
What is truth, and what is only legend in love at first sight? First, can we tell that we immediately love someone we recently met? 
Eye contact can produce sparks, and if person of opposite gender is staring at you longer than is polite, you got new fan. There is statistic, you have four minutes to develop conversation between you and desirable person. If that conversation is short and if you need to drag words from his/her mouth, that person is not interested.
Women like to believe at love in fir…

259. Booby trap relations

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Once when woman caught man of her dreams she will focus how to keep him. That is not easy task, because as much is hard to find soulmate, it is even harder to save this relation forever. Butterflies in stomach are here for 2 or 3 years, and then situation is changing. Our relation is ready for next chapter, so love will be deeper and more mature or we will lost interest. What connected us together at the start of this relation is not so important anymore. If we don't grow together with time, simply this love will get lost. You loved this man because he was so passionate and wild in sex, but if his sexual skills are everything he could offer to you, sparks will fade and you will look into lazy guy who is unable to understand you.
There are some signs that relation will break. 

Which kind of atmosphere is intro in breakup? When we will know what is not meant to be?



Battlefield in relation. Conflicts from time to time are healthy for relation, but if you fight with your partner day by d…

258. How to push someone to make final decision?

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Million plans and wishes, and  little time for realization. Life is short for all big dreams we wish to realize, and if we don't use every suitable moment, we are as gamblers who lost big amount of money. There is no worse thing than gambling with time. Something gone and that moment will never come back.
Delay is enemy of every action. As much we delay more time we will spend. One day we will stand in front of wall, unable to jump over it, because it is too high. One of the ways to move in life is syndrome of last minute.
When we stand and look into our last chance, heart will beat very fast. So, this is it. Final chance to pass this exam or you will repeat year. Last chance to propose that girl or she will leave you alone. Last offer at your work, take it or leave it. Adrenaline jump very high, you are pressured so what to do now?
People react very different in the time of pressure. I am one of people who will react very positive on last chance. So, this is it, there is no return, …

257. Surrogate time

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How to be happy in love? Single person will ask this question during period of loneliness. If there is special key, everyone would like to find it and open secret door of love magic. People can be rich, beautiful and genius, but without happiness in love all this will be in vain. We wish to share our happiness with someone and there is no more beautiful thing than smile of beloved person.
Searching for love is an excitement, and everyone who did success will be happy. Also, some people will lost patience and they will decide to be single. They will say "we are happy anyway", without someone special in their life.
When you miss something and you can't have it, you will search for surrogate. That are defense mechanisms which protect us from pains. As when you have headache, you will take aspirin. 


What kind of surrogates are present in human lives, as substitutions for love?
Hard work. When you see workaholic lady or gentleman, something is behind this. Single woman is working…

256. Pieces of your heart

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The space between former and new relation is space for questions. What i need, what i wish and what i expect? Result of expectation can lead into disappointment, so as much we wish miracle, it will not happen always. New love will not heal scarves from previous relations if we are doing the same mistakes. If you had six relations during 10 years, and if all broke, problem is not in partners, problem is inside of you.

Love is as your favorite meal. Don't eat if you are not hungry. If you are half hungry, don't eat too. Wait to empty your stomach or in this case, wait for empty space in your heart. When you don't have patience to wait right opportunity or you simply can't handle loneliness, love remains will be in the air as viruses. Your ex lover will stay in your fantasies, until you hold hand of your present lover.

Patricia was big fan of wild guys, she was addicted to drama and all her love stories were measured with big amount of pain. On some way, she enjoyed to cry …

255. To be or not to be?

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Two choices  and you must bring only one decision. No matter if you choose between two good options, or you must choose better or worse, you need to eliminate something. Sitting on two chairs is indeed rope around your neck. You wish to have everything, but this is not possible. Someone will get hurt, and something will be on second place.
Julia was working in night club as dancer, she wanted to earn enough money for college. Daily, she was waitress. It was exhausting and not safe. She was very tired and she start to forget orders, customers at bar were angry at her because once she spilled coffee and they waited her more than half hour to bring them breakfast. She was between two jobs for a year, and everyone complained. Bags under her eyes talked more than she wanted to show. She did not want to give up until owner of night club said to her that she is done with dancing. Customers don't want to see tired face and slow motion anymore, if they wanted to see this, they would stayed …

254. Emotional showtime

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You are happy, so let's laugh loud. You are angry so let's yell and scream. In the moment of sadness, just cry. That are our natural reactions on influences outside. What society expects from us, are particular reactions in appropriate time, or lack of any reaction. Show just blank face, that is expected from you.
How many time you went to funeral but you could not cry? How many times you cried on weddings? And when you wanted to hug someone in public, but it was not somehow appropriate?
Our reactions are not always in harmony with rules of society. Sometimes we are forced to pretend happiness or kindness even that is not on our mind. New boss comes to your workplace. Now he needs warm welcome, bunch of kindness, smiles and sweet words. When Phoebe became boss of department, she did not leave good impression. Her first words were: "If you were lazy until now, i despise lazy people. You will see meaning of hard work under my authority."
She expected fear or respect. Most…