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Showing posts from May, 2014

315. Don Juan is online

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Every person has two personalities, one for himself, other for the rest of the world. There are things we wish to hide from others because they would laugh to us. Also, we want to represent our best parts and abilities in a way that others see us as perfect. Mature person will win this internal conflict and with years, she will found out that is not important to be perfect, it is more important to find someone who will like our imperfections. Our strength is in ability to create circle of people who will understand us. The same in love, we will face it with many frogs until we kiss the prince. This prince or princess is not creature from fairy tale. That is person with qualities which are special for us.
Igor lives in Ljubljana, in Slovenia. He is unlucky in love. His longest relations last about three months. In generally, girls run from him. He is not ugly, he has green eyes , nice smile , average body and deep sexy voice, so he should have girlfriend. He is still single in his real …

314. Self control

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When someone wants to control you, you will make resistance. Authorities, parents, relatives, friends, even our beloved partner will try to use control to realize their wishes. So, you should be good son or daughter, good member of society, great mother, wonderful husband and excellent friend. When you accept other's control, you live accord their standards, even you don't like it. 

Now think about self control, that is something different, because you are owner of your desires and you will make your own path. You have this invisible lash, especially for yourself. Self control is not weapon of limitations. More, self control is your guidance, path which leads somewhere in unknown area, where your access is not allowed yet.
Blair had a lot adventures in youth. She was slutty girl and she prefer to call herself as wild, it sounded better. She used every chance to get passionate sex, in car, at park, even once near church, it was forbidden, exciting and dangerous. Once her best fri…

313. Your right hand

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Sometimes we can't handle problems alone. Even the strongest person will need shoulder for cry or just a hug, as sign that everything will be better. If you are woman, you will need double dose. We are sensitive creatures and even we don't want to admit it, sometimes we need corner for cry.
When you feel as the whole world is against you, when your life is expressed only in black color, you will need support. Our friends, sisters, brothers, parents and our beloved husbands or wives are our shelter. We expect comfort from them because they are in our hearts.
Dana came from work, exhausted and angry. She cried, not because of grief, he was angry because at her workplace was huge injustice. Her office mate is smoking and nobody wants to act against her, and Dana is choking every day in cloud of cigarette. At the end of work time they had fight and Dana almost slap her. It was very ugly scene at office, but necessary. So Dana wanted support of her husband Dylan. He talked with her, …

312. Carnival in virtual space

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Did you imagine that you are someone else, to live different and better life than is yours? Other's skin is more attractive when we realize that life is not so nice as we expected. We can't be born again, but we can create fake profile at social networks and pretend that we are someone else.
I believe that everyone of you met with fake people around net every day. How many users are introducing themselves as actors, models, singers or writers? How many people use pictures which are not theirs? And how many of them use fake name to cover their identity?
If you think that is easy to discover fake profile, you are wrong. Even if on photo is famous person, you can't prove that is not real. For example, in my city is popular handsome rock singer Karlo, and someone can use his photo as profile picture. People in Croatia will know about his rock band "Chocolate nipples", but what is with people from Pakistan, India or France? They will not have clue who is he and they wil…

311. Sun after rain

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Black thoughts - that is familiar to all of us. Life brings us moments where we don't see way out. Bad events are connected in chain, so sometimes you will be in kind of temptation. You are experimental rabbit, so can you handle this?
Scott lost his job and broke with girlfriend in the same time. Then he got sick and depressed. He would get up in the morning, drink cup of coffee and it was all what he could do. The rest of time he was staring in the window, like he expects high forces to help him. He was not even religious, so he hoped that some alien will come on Earth , with space ship to bring him out of here. Scott went to the gym to make his body more strong. He did not find friends here, guys were pretentious, they had muscles and Scott was skinny like girl. Then he invited his friend to go out, but he was too busy and he could not promise him when this will happen. Maybe never.
So days were passing, Scott could not find a new job, girls were rejecting him and he became suicid…

310. Alarm for caution

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When you get burn, you will blow on cold. Bad experience is alert, and your red alarm will open light anytime when troubles are on the way. This is kind of warning, don't repeat the same mistakes again. Even repeating is mother of knowledge, if we stuck in the same traps, we are wasting our time. How do you feel screwed from the same person or with same situations again? Like fool.
Roxanne learnt from past experiences. She had violent boyfriend and her blue eye or broken nose were reminders. Many time she justified how she hit into door or how clumsy she was , but once when she get out from this, apologies were unnecessary. Her next boyfriend try to hit her during conflict, and she left him another day. 
Somehow, when we pass through boomer situations, next similar event will cause our flash back. I was hitchhiking and i had unpleasant experience, so there is no chance that i would do it again. It was before 10 years or more, and i surprise to myself how i was brave or foolish. Then…

309. Tick tock fantasies

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If we compare reality and our fantasies, tastes are different. Reality often leaves bitter taste in our mouth, like we swallowed fish oil. Fantasies are cream on the cake, that sugar dose which will make our life more magical. If you have habit to live in fantasies, you can't look into eyes of your reality. It is too much painfull, cruel or simply you feel empty? Take a nap and call your fantasies in your dreams, but don't sleep forever otherwise you will have nightmares.
Doris always get late from her office work. Sometimes she works overtime, that is private company and her boss is unpredictable. If they don't sell some products on time, she will stay even for weekends. After work she must go in the shopping mall. Her husband is also busy and tired so Doris will buy grosseries for dinner. That Tuesday was especially bad day. Doris got complaints from her clients, her boss was yelling on her and it was terrible crowd on the road. Finally, she went into mall and there was b…

308. Hot sauce from stereotypes

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When we talk about stereotypes as phenomenon, these are beliefs about members of certain group who will act and think in the same fashion. That are labels, and we will recognize every person accord group which she belongs. When we decide to think accord this beliefs, life will be closed box and all impressions will be predictable. 



Some of usual stereotypes are:
About young people. They are green and they don't know nothing about life.
About blondes. They are stupid and easy women.
About elders. They forgot all what they know and they are not in steps with time.
About models. They are anorexic, bulimic skinny girls without brain.
About policemen. They have small intelligence. Jokes are often about them.
About footballers. They are also not so smart.

Thinking accord stereotypes could be negative or positive, but in both cases this is superficial perception. Imagine that you walk in the park and group of young men who wear leather jacket is there. You will feel insecure and fear will come i…

307. Do you learn from previous experiences?

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Perception is changing during years and accord that our attitude will be shaped different than before. We are growing and maturity is at the door after we learn from mistakes. How much time you remember your crazy adventures and how you look at this now? You had painful experience in youth but now it seems so funny and unworthy of tears?

Ellen was in love with Shane, guy from her neighborhood. They were together from time to time, and it was not classical date or relation. Simply she would appear in night club at Saturday and waiting for him to come there after midnight. Then they were kissing, and at the end of night he would drive his friends, and Ellen went home alone. When her girls asked her how long they are together, she used to say " ten Saturdays." It was topics for jokes, but Ellen indeed suffered because of his idiocy. It was hard to break relation which indeed doesn't exist. Her friend Isabel asked her "Do you know how much girls he was dating during week…

306. Get off from my back

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In personal relations i have one golden rule : don't push yourself where you are not invited. So if i see that person has no friendly or romantic interest on me, i will back off. I think that is matter of manners, why to follow someone who doesn't want me near him? I could give a hint or to ask for a reasons, but in generally i will accept others choices.
The same is from my side, i never liked clingy persons. It was for me parasite man, someone who doesn't understand word no. When someone insist to be near me, i could act aggressive and this mean person pressed my rude button. So question about my kindness or politeness is not necessary, i know what i want and what i don't want.
There is a difference between persistent person and clingy parasite. If you wish that someone notice you, no matter is this business, love or friendship, you will be persistent on a way to prove your values, to show that you are worthy, but from distance. 
Sarah wanted that job and few times she …

305. Don't be second violin

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One day you looked yourself in the mirror and realize that you were just stage in someone's life. Even worse, that every your relation was indeed transit zone and other people gone when they take from you what they needed. You had this role of teacher, surrogate or substitution, until real woman come to finish the story. As in theater, where whisperer reminds main actors what to say, you were here to keep other's place warm.
The role of whisperer is full of sacrifices, and the worst part is wasting of time. You gave someone your youth, your best edition, and he gone to replace you with other woman. Now she has all benefits you did not have, but you invested all your energy to get this man. Also an opposite, man who spend many years with woman will be unhappy if she just vanish from his life and get marry to someone else.
Lydia was one of this girls who always catch flowers at weddings but never get marry. She followed all her friends in the way to marriage, and everybody asked h…

304. On the same frequency

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"Did you hear me?" This is basic question for any person who is not sure does someone listen to her. Skill of listening is basic of friendship and love relation, because if our partner or friend can't focus on conversation, we are talking with ourselves.
Nobody expect that you follow other words as echo and that you repeat every detail. Also, you don't have to close your mouth and turn into numb observer. Be silent, look into eyes of your source and later you can offer your opinion. Sounds simple? Many people don't know difference between preaching and advises, and also they will interrupt your speech before you finish this, because they have no patience and manners.
When someone ask an advice from you, respect their dignity.


How to give good advice?
Don't look at person from heights. You are not priest, for sure you are not God and there is no reason for underestimation. Everybody makes mistakes and next time you will be in this situation.
Don't act like teac…