Quid pro quo, that is an old Latin proverb. It means, gives and take. If you ask for a favor, I will do it, but next time I will need feedback. If you don't want to help me I will consider you as selfish. Ask next time something from me and you will not get it.
Human relations should be based on reciprocity, as we have two hands on one body. I give you love and I expect your love for return. I am loyal to you, I will not screw you, but also I am not a fool. If you think that I am not worthy of your respect and loyalty, for sure I will know this and you will lose my affection.
A selfish person will hardly understand the meaning of reciprocity. So, I am used that others please to my wishes. It comes out from childhood. Mother made a cake for me but I don't want to wash dishes. She will wash instead of me. My friend did my homework because I did not know-how. She asked me to borrow her skirt, but I can't do this, I don't lend my clothes. A selfish person is a one-sided personality. That kind of person will receive but never give for return. She has always right and only her opinion is important. As dictators in history, that people are masters and others are slaves.
Selfishness will exist so long until others will accept her existence. Sonia lives with mother even she has 40 years. So her mother is doing all kinds of job in this flat, but Sonia always paint nails, read and she is a princess who would make her hands dirty with this kind of work. One day mother got sick, and Sonia was forced to cook her tea and make lunch. Then she saw her selfishness. Mother could die and her last act would be making a favorite meal for Sonia.
We cannot be soft accord selfish people. They must be faced with their character. If you do accord their wishes, you will never warn on your rights and needs. Indeed, you don't exist if your boyfriend or friend did nothing for you, to make you happy.
Reactions might be various. Egocentric will swallow bitter mug.
They can make angry. What, this is thanks for me because I am your friend 10 years? I can't guess what you wish.
They can feel guilty. Sorry, I did not know that my acts hurt you. I will try to make it better.
They will not admit. No, this is not true. I do things for you but you don't see this.
They can ask for a replacement. Well, if you are not satisfied with me, I will find another friend. I will find another woman who will make me happy. Someone will appreciate me more than you.
What is the reason for other selfishness? A simple example from the virtual world. People ask for likes on their pages but they don't want to give likes for return. Why is that?
Some conclusions:
Well, I can't promise you to return. If you wish like my page if you don't want no problem.
I am famous, so you need to kiss my knees, be happy because you are my friend.
I am too busy with myself, I have no time for others.
In general, selfishness is ugly. You do many efforts to make close with a selfish person, but she underestimates you. In the end, you feel like an idiot.
The opposite, when you have a friend who understands the principle of reciprocity, you feel as you found your lost part. You give and receive. This is spontaneous, you don't need to force or beg, simply that person knows that you are happy with such treatment.
Give and don't expect nothing for return is an incomplete thought. Maybe you don't expect but for sure you will be disappointed if you don't get what you wanted. Or, you are asking in the wrong place?
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