Skip to main content

Are you a judgmental friend?




People love to look down on someone, just to feel powerful. Judgments are something you can't avoid in gossip's circle, but if the topic is your friend things become uglier.

Even in virtual circles, people love to warn each other about their friends. Sometimes I get messages about this "dangerous guy", "filthy woman", "maniac" or "pervert." Especially if the sender is an unknown person, I ignore it.

What I think about judgment?

I am not a jury. I am not perfect, either. If I chose someone as a friend, I will not judge him.

I accept a friend with all the imperfections. We are humans, not robots. 

Judging someone means that you are an insecure person. Asking failures with a magnifier means that you are not able to accept someone's personality.

People change in a way that life and circumstances changed them. 


Why is judgment ridiculous?

Everybody has a past. If you stole a chocolate egg when you were a kid, it will not mark you till the end of your life.

Your mind should not be limited. If you are not able to cross over a friend's mistakes, why expect that someone forgives your mistakes, too?

You never know when you can do the same mistakes as your friend, before.  If your friend betrayed and cheated, who knows what you can do? Can you swear that you would not do a mistake, never?


A judgmental friend is a fake friend. It means, he likes you while you are shining, but at the moment when you stand in the dirt, he will turn you back. It is easy to love someone who is popular, rich, beautiful, pure, and successful. What happens when a person does a mistake and gets a judgmental mark? Will you pretend that you don't know him anymore?

Before you judge, it is good to take a look in front of your door. Also, it is good to talk with that person, to understand what is the real truth, before you make the conclusion. Judgment is a basic element of rumors, so if you hear people are gossiping, check the facts twice.








Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Should we respond to negative reviews?

Recently I had a discussion in my social media about negative ratings. There was a situation in Goodreads, where I got two negative reviews on my two books. The point was in the way how the ratings were set up. First rating for my book "Body in the waves" was placed under 5-star review from another reviewer. While the reviewer praising my book, the troll came under to say "This is really bad book." Second rating was described as " Poor author needs writing lessons." Both reviews broke standards of reviewing, because there is no visible evidence that book was downloaded in Kindle unlimited or purchased. It was a clear troll act from a new page, without a profile photo and with a nickname. I reported this to Goodreads and they responded me they are processing this. Meanwhile, I heard from other authors that Goodreads failed to do anything about trolling.  In these terms, Goodreads should delete such profiles and forbid the access because of breaking rules. T...

Why the refund is damaging indie authors?

I understand someone can be disappointed with a book. It is like I was disapointed with my trousers online and returned it. What makes a difference, my trousers were 40 euros. The book was 2.49 cents. This makes return funny, because what can you do with this money? Some readers don't understand story behind the refund. The author will get minus royalties. - 0.13 c in my Kindle report, that will vanish when someone else buy the book. The situation happens. Someone accidentaly clicked and bought a book. A random customer wants a refund. Maybe it was not a random move. Maybe the customer clicked, bought and did not like the book. When you don't like the book choose another options, instead of damaging authors. Write a negative review. Write negative one star rating. Don't purchase another books from this author. Or, maybe to reconsider and read it, again? If you write negative reviews or rate it with 1 or 2 stars, you are making a favor to authors. You are moving algorithms i...

Five myths about promo sites

Recently I asked for a featured Bookbub deal for one of my books. I got response that my book should be free priced and my expense would be 230 dollars. This is really funny, because I could expect people grab my book for free and give me one star (as it happens when books are available for everyone). To pay such amount of money would be waste and without a purpose. I am mix of traditional and indie author. Having a publisher, but not bestseller books, I am looking for ways to increase my book sales. Promo sites like Bookbub are very expensive and they offer their deals for 25% books from authors who applied for this. I had an insight to author's books who grabbed Bookbub deals. It works will authors who are already selling a good amount of their books. In general, promo sites are not working for favor of indie authors. These are five myths about promo sites: Promo sites give many readers. It is not true, because you will get visibility and many trolls, but not readers. Promo sites...