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Female authors: facing with potential fans



Someone bought your book? You got a review? This is excellent news.

But, always there is some catch in having potential fans. I am happy when I can deal with normal people, who will buy and read my books, without asking for something extra from me. After all, I am not Agatha Christie, I am not rich and I can't donate my money.

It was a guy in Goodreads who liked my profile photos and left a review on my book. Then he started to send messages asking for my private life. I cut this off. He deleted his review, disappointed in his treatment.

I was in a position of the reader too and I was never interested in a sort of private communication with some handsome, male author. We can joke and exchange our writing experiences, but to annoy someone is a different point of view. 

Often on Instagram, I met some guys who pretend they're interested in my book and then start with their "how are you? do you have a husband?" questions. Or, they ask where to find my books even I clearly put my link online.

I can imagine how awful it could be when some people think they are so important and bother the author. There is a line between courtesy and pushy people, and someone is willing to cross it.

If I will help someone, it is my choice.

My choice is also to buy the book or read it.

When I see demands from unknown people, that pisses me off. Who are you and what are you want from me? Don't treat me as I am your reader or buyer, because I am not.



Also, I am not a potential flirt target. I am happily married and that is an answer to every private question.

I have seen funny attempts from male authors who are supposed to be educated, how they poked me on Facebook, sent inappropriate messages, or tried to get my attention. Underestimated me as an author, and trying to flirt with me is an insulting act.

I will gladly meet new people and engage with them, trying to learn something new about promotion, writing, new cultures. I will gladly cooperate with my conditions.

I was also trying many times to get reviews from some people, but I never got it despite their promises. As karma is a bitch, someone who did not pay attention to me tried to sell me his book but got my ignorance.

I can't hit every dog who barks on my way, but I can avoid it. 

Comments

Eva Pasco said…
I can also do without the malarkey.
Richard Gardner said…
If they’re married, or in a relationship, then it’s obviously wrong, but if they’re just lonely then it’s surely just human nature to try to talk to people? (I’m not saying it’s appropriate, but just that some of them probably feel the polar opposite of “important”.)

Perhaps you could politely say that you’re not looking for friendship etc. but also recommend that they join a friendship, penpal or dating site and wish them well? You never know how lonely people are; it is surely better to tread carefully and direct these people to places where other people are seeking company?
Kristina Gallo said…
I think Twitter is not a dating site, many will agree with me. I clearly wrote on my page that I am here only to promote books. I have no time to explain or educate someone, everyone knows to read. Their mistake is, if they are lonely, they should not ask for a conversation with those who are in a relationship or married, like me.
Everyone should know where their circle is.
Richard Gardner said…
I’m not disagreeing with you. I know it must be very uncomfortable and frustrating to have to deal with. Is it a huge problem? (I honestly have no idea, I’ve barely used social media—the last time I did anything like this was Yahoo Chat!) I just think with the media constantly covering suicide and depression rates soaring because of social media, it just makes sense to try and guide a lonely person away from Twitter and to somewhere friendlier. Nothing much, just a stock sentence. I'm sorry if it's such a big problem, though, I honestly have no idea. I fully agree: it’s the last place people should look for friendship.
Kristina Gallo said…
I understand you very well. Social media are looking for profit and traffic, they don't care about people. I think it is a good option on Twitter where you can't send messages to those who are not following you. If you are following someone, you can explain what you expect from that person. I build many connections there and found great authors and readers.
Richard Gardner said…
It all seems mostly, like you say, about profit and traffic. I've started unfollowing most writers on Twitter as this isn't really what I came here for. It is easy to think of this as a good place to meet like-minded people, if you're not aware of what it is like.
Kristina Gallo said…
Well, I am 8 years in Twitter and it is my favorite social media. I deleted many people from my Facebook who spam me with like invitations for pages. Anyway, I am glad I could meet someone like you. People don't pay attention to blogs unless is fashion or travel so I am really grateful you do this.
Richard Gardner said…
Thanks a lot Kristina, it’s nice of you to say that :) I will keep an eye out for your posts (and should be able to see them clearer now I’m out of Writer Twitter radids). I do like Twitter, too, though till recently I only used it for finding photos and humour. I’m am so relieved to get back to that!

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